Sunday, April 30, 2006

The moves

We started to live in Kirana, in your grandparents’ house, Wowy dearest. If anything should happen, at least there is always someone with me.

This week, we had one new maid that we sent back today due to some reasons.

Last night, we stayed for a night in our house and this morning, Daddy asked me to dance to the classical music we put for you. Well, once in a year or so, your dad could be romantic.


You started to fill my womb this week and could move as a response to our touches. Usually you move more often in weekends when your dad is around. Is it because you know and you are happy when he is around?

Friday, April 21, 2006

the girl of your dream

Hey, My Little Baby,

Yesterday, when your Dad told me about his old colleague who was going to another city to attend his nephew’s engagement, I thought about your engagement. Oh well, I know it will still be very far in the future with you not being born yet. I just could not help but wonder.

Nowadays, when watching movies or even advertisements, I always think of you if I see boys in any age, from toddles to teenagers. I think of your body, how big you will grow, of your personality, of our relationship, well, of a lot of things, Wowy. I even think of the time you will tell me about the girl that you fancy. What kind of girl she will be? How sweet will your love life be? Oh well, do you think I imagine too much stuff? Maybe it is due to my nervousness to be a mom, huh?

Let whatever will be, will be. I just hope that we will have a great relationship, and that you will eventually think of me as your friend when you grow up. I love you, dear boy.

The last weeks

Dearest Wowy,

There will only be about six to ten weeks before you were born. Unlike the weeks in the first trimester, the weeks in the second trimester passed faster for me. Maybe the weeks in the last trimester will pass just as fast, or even faster with all the shopping and the preparation. Before I realize it, you will be outside my womb!

In the last few days, I felt something like a withdrawal symptom for my carefree days. You see, nowadays I usually spend the afternoon alone, doing things on my own whims. When you are here in the future, I will spend my waking time taking care of you. I am very sure that I will cherish and enjoy those moments, but I still feel some kind of lost for this relaxing period. This is a no-turning-back journey to motherhood, Darling. As much as I expect you to come sooner, there are some parts of me that still clinging to the soon-to-be-released non-motherhood state. This is a transition phase that you, too, will experience later on in life.

The last scary transition phase was last year, when I was about to stop working, move back to my homeland, and get married. That transition was in a sense scarier than going to motherhood. For this one, I am sort of expecting it and just feel a little loss for the freedom. I love most of the moments in this pregnancy, especially when you dance in my womb!

This week, you are more active than the previous weeks. I could not wait when you start to fill my womb and your body parts start to poke out. Your aunts could not wait for you to come out! They have even started to cuddle you now, tickling me in the process.

I’m praying hard for these last weeks, Wowy. Praying so that you will be formed perfectly and all of us can prepare everything to welcome you in time, especially for me to be a good mother for you.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Week 30: The mood swing and the visit

I had quite a bad mood swing in these few days. On Sunday and Monday I was in such a good mood that I could not scold your dad when he put a dirty book on the bed. Then I turned horrible on Monday night and continued to just now. I guess I am feeling better again now.

Yesterday, I stayed at my parents’ home. Your grandma and I cut some cotton clothes into big squares to make you some beautiful blankets. These blankets will be used by your siblings and cousins too. In the late afternoon, we went to visit the doctor. The long waiting time was cut short with shopping and a visit to granddad’s restaurant for two glasses of strawberry juice for your grandma and I. Your dad came just in time to enjoy some crackers and took some sips from the remaining juice before we went into the doctor’s.

Grandma was pretty excited looking at you on the ultrasound scan screen. You were moving your hands and head, at one time, putting your hand on your mouth. I thought you were sucking your thumb for a while. Everything was declared to be perfectly fine, and God, I really hope that everything will be just fine for my baby.

We went home that night, expecting to meet the strange guy again, but we did not see him.

Tonight, your dad went to the dentist and I was left in the house alone for the whole day. I did not have the mood to do the house chores, so I just played with the laptop, learning to do some multimedia stuff. I know I will not be able to have this lazy luxury when you come out from my womb… so, I’ll just enjoy my own free time as much as possible now.

I’m waiting for daddy to come home now, Wowy dear. I am really glad that you are here with me now.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

The fun weekend

Saturday is Ie Yen’s 20th birthday. Your dad and I went for early evening swim before having dinner to celebrate the birthday. This time we went with your grandma who was going for an aerobic class at the sport club. Went home quite late after the dinner, found the area was dark with blackout and met a strange guy (that your dad met once on Wednesday night) and gave us a fright. We called your grandpa and all of us hoped that he was just some crazy old man with nothing to do at nights.

Sunday morning, we went to your other grandparents’ house very early, bringing the maid’s stuff with us. We returned the maid and she said she was going home to her village. We had breakfast there, and then we went to safari park with Kevin. The whole day was spent mostly in the car; we went back very tired and had a sound sleep.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Good Friday

You started to move more vigorously, darling baby. We could even feel some part of your body when you kicked.

The maid was very inexperienced and we did not think that we could use her help any longer. And she was pretty smelly, especially in the car when we brought her to your grandparents’ before we went to church. We really considered letting her go.


During the mass, you moved and kicked several times, and I loved every movement of yours, Wowy darling.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Grandpa and the little birdie

Tuesday morning, when your dad was just drove the car out from the carport, I found a little bundle of feathers that turned out to be a little bird on the floor. It was under the car and thankfully untouched when your dad pulled the car out (I could not imagine the mess if it got smashed by the wheels). I tried to put a newspaper to cover it, so that the cold morning air would not affect it so much, but it refused to be covered. I just left it there and went in.
About 2pm in the afternoon, your grandpa and aunt came. I told them about the little bird and we found it on the dirt below the chili plant. Grandpa scooped it with his hand and gave him trickles of water from the tap to drink with his fingers. Both your aunt and I were pretty touched to see this soft side of him. Then he drove to a nearby shop to buy some bananas for the bird to eat. Your aunt and I fed the bird with smashed banana. We put it on the mineral water card box with some branches and leaves for it to nest. It still looked pretty healthy when your dad came home. He also tried to feed the bird some bananas. Anyway, I found it dead when I wanted to feed it this morning. I was pretty upset to see the little bundle of feathers lying there, motionless inside the box. No more happy chirps, just a deadly silence.

Tonight, a new maid came from a little town in Central Java. She was quite old (her eldest son is 21 years old) and very inexperienced. She never worked as a maid before. She was polite and quite nice. I hope hard that our relationship will be well and long-lasting.

Monday, April 10, 2006

Week twenty nine: revealing the heritage

This week is a relaxing week. Monday and Friday are public holidays; the three of us can spend most of our time together. Today, we went swimming at the nearby sport club. We went with grandpa. Your daddy and I swam while grandpa did some other sport at the fitness room. We had breakfast in the club’s cafĂ©, yummy chicken noodles and fresh juices.

Afterwards, your grandma brought down a box full of baby clothes. Those clothes (and blankets and diapers) were worn by me and your aunts when we were babies. There were even diapers worn by your grandma and grandaunts! Those were sewn by your great grandma herself. There were some cute crocheted baby mantels, shoes, and bonnets handmade by grandma, but they were for baby girls. Your grandma learned it from your great-great-grandmother. Can I make a cool crocheted outfit for you? It’s really a question of patience and determination. I don’t think I have enough of them to make one for you. So unlike your great-great-grandmother, great-grandmother, and grandmother, your mother is not as crafty with threads.

In the late afternoon, we drove to your paternal grandparents’. Your eldest aunt invited us for dinner. In the end, the dinner was canceled because your uncle lost his most-important little case with his wallet and keys inside. So we had dinner with the rest of the family sans them.

Friday, April 7, 2006

the 28th week

Darling, it’s already the 28th week!!! Seven month! In some ethnic groups in this region, usually the moms-to-be will undergo some ceremony to mark the seventh month. For us, we can now start shopping for your stuff. Yay!!!

You can be born quite safely now, but since your lungs are not fully developed yet, you will have some trouble breathing and has to stay in the incubator. So, take your sweet time to develop inside my womb, Darling. You can also hear more clearly by now. Daddy and I are trying to sing you some songs every night now, if he is not too tired, he usually plays the guitar.

Daddy’s beloved dog is currently sick. I went to the vet with your grandma on Wednesday and Daddy went again yesterday. The dog was diagnosed with kidney failure and there was a hole in the heart too. She was very weak, refused to eat or drink, and was unable to walk properly. Your dad said he cried a bit yesterday, when he stroked the weak doggie. I kind of knew how he felt, I myself cried hard and mourned for weeks when my dog died last two years. Both of us are dog lovers and we planned to give our family a doggie. You’ll grow to love dogs yourself I think.

My mom is going to visit my grandma again tomorrow. She just went back from there on Monday night. Let’s pray for a safe flight for her. Aunt Lan and my cousin will be with her.

Wowy dearest, sometimes I thought of the far future when I am old and you are a grown up. How tall you will be, how handsome you will look, and how strong you will grow… will you look like your Daddy, will you be as tall and as strong as him? Will you be a sweet boy? How will your girlfriend or wife look like? Can both of us raise you to be a responsible man with a wonderful heart? I always pray that whatever you will be, you will always have Him inside you. That way, I will always be assured that you will be just fine.

Sunday, April 2, 2006

the twenty seventh week

This week is three-day work week for Daddy. It was so great to have him around and to spend so much time with him.

Monday, we went to celebrate aunt L’s birthday. Had yummy Chinese food dinner and stayed a night there. Your aunts love to feel your movement! They always asked me whether you moved and if you did, they would run to my tummy and placed their hands on you.

Tuesday, I went to the wet market with your grandma. Then my senior high school and university friend came to visit. We talked quite a lot about our activities and business… and I thought about how our lives have changed since our school time.

Thursday was a public holiday. Daddy and I went to visit your great-uncle. We met your grandparents there. We had a great time.

Friday, we checked you up again! You are now about 1.1kg, the doctor said after measuring your tummy’s cross section with the ultrasound scan machine. We also managed to see your face! Could not really tell whether you are handsome yet, but it was pretty exciting looking at your eyes, nose, and mouth! I am now about 58.2kg. Your grandma and aunt Y went to Semarang today to visit your great-grandma. Aunt Y will be back on Sat, while grandma stayed till Monday evening.

Today, for the first time in our history, we went as planned to the 6 am mass and visited my old Sunday school in the neighborhood. The last time I was there, I was 16 years old, a high school student, still single and yeah, so different from today. I went there and did what I did years ago, sang with the children, talked with my friends, everything with a maternity outfit, a bulging tummy, and you inside it. The children, aged 2 to 4 years old are closer to you than to me now. I might bring you there one day, Wowy dearest.