Goodbye Engkong...

This morning, my mother-in-law's father passed away. We called him Engkong. While I knew him only for the past four or five year, this remarkable man had a tremendous impact on me. Let me share some memories that I treasured about him.

This note below was written in my journal on Saturday night, 24 January 2009.

He smiled his special smile again when I asked him the question. That smile always reached to his eyes and made them twinkle with some sort of warm glow. He answered by telling me his love story.

Engkong and Emak were married when he was twenty and she was fifteen. They had seven children. They had good and bad times and were together through it all. They lived in Lasem, a small town in the northern East Java.

Their children grew up and started to move to other big cities till only the two of them were left. After that they used to travel by car visiting their children. He told me smugly that he used to drive all the way from Surabaya to Jakarta in one go, just stopping for meal breaks.

I gawked at this! I used to go with my family from Jakarta to Semarang (and back) by car and I always felt tired after the 10-hour journey. And I did not even drive! I asked whether he felt tired or sleepy at all during the whole day-long car drive. He smiled, that smile, and answered like this: "As long as she was with me, I didn't get tired."

They apparently talked and enjoyed each other company so much that driving 725 km was a cinch!

Then in my note on 26 Jan 2009:

Engkong said that husband and wife had to support each other and be a good team in EVERYTHING. This is the key to success.

Emak died in 1992. A sudden death that shocked him. He told me in several occasions that after she died, he was like an empty shell, just waiting to die... waiting to meet her again. It's a pity that I've never met her. I would love to be able to witness their wonderful marriage. He said that their children had been planning to celebrate their 50th anniversary (in 1995), but she died...

During our stroll in a mall once, when I walked with him, he told me that he would always be the one gave in after every fight. He would do that before they went to sleep. It was easy to win her heart with a hug and a loving kiss, he told me with a chuckle. Ooooh, how I hope my husband inherited this trait!

Engkong always included Emak in every card that he gave his children and grandchildren. During Chinese New Year, he would put his name card inside the hongbao, and 'Engkong & Emak' would always be written there. When my husband was sick, he gave us a hongbao with the name card and a written get-well-soon note, from Engkong & Emak. Whenever he gave his blessing, like the one during our wedding, he talked in behalf of Emak.

When I received the news that he passed away, I imagined him smiling his special smile. At last the day he has been waiting for eighteen years has arrived... the day he would meet his sweetheart, his first love, his wife, his best friend.

It would not be easy for us, we will definitely miss him... but I'm sure that today Engkong is happier than ever.

Thank you Engkong. For being a wonderful grandpa, for being a huge inspiration in loving, for all of your attention and smiles and precious advices. I'm just beyond blessed to be able to know you and become your granddaughter even just for a few years. I love you. Be happy now, with the Lord, and with your sweetheart.

it should be green

Jovan was accidentally looking at the computer's monitor and saw his drawing that I digitally colored.


"Ma, it's wrong. It's not red. It should be green," he protested.

"Oh, sorry, I thought those are mushrooms." I replied.

"No. Those are trees. Trees that are seen from far."

(Nggak Ma, itu pohon. Pohonnya jauh, jadi kecil.)

Wow. I never think that he knows perspective already!

aunt jen's visit

This Sunday, we met our friend from NTU, Singapore. Jove called her Aunty Jenny.

We started early, with Jove still sleeping, and drove to Ritz-Carlton to pick Aunty Jenny. Jove awakened when we reached the hotel. I told him that Aunty Jenny only spoke English, so he has to greet her in English.

When Jenny went into the car, he did not greet her, but introducing her to Buzz Lightyear plastic toy that he had.

"This is Buzz Lightyear!" (pointing the toy at Aunt Jen)
"To infinity and beyoooooond!" (Buzz flew around)

We went to Church of St. Theresia for the English Sunday Mass, then for delicious mpek-mpek lunch (where Jove got acquintanced with a few kids). Then we followed Aunty Jenny to her room and had some tea and fun chat in her really cool hotel room.

Jove could answer some simple questions and he was not shy in trying to communicate. Children, even though they have not mastered the language, have better communication skills than adults, I think. The best skills are their sincerety and total curiousity. Oh, and their innocence and their smile too!

I've really nothing to worry for his socialization skill.

Thank you Aunty Jenny for the sweets and heaps of good time! :D

she loves picture books!

While Jove were away with his grandma (due to his recurring cough), I had more one-to-one time with baby Kay. I read her The Very Hungry Caterpillar three times today. She loved it. She stopped fidgeting and paid close attention to the book from start to finish.

I remembered that Jove used to be like that too, I just could not recall whether he did it when he was this young.

It is good if the children love to read, isn't it? Then they can spend a few hours on their own being immersed in another world, and the mother can have sometime to do her own stuff. Ha ha.

I'm sorry, Sis!

Jovan was pretty cranky yesterday afternoon. He kept on asking me to carry him while I was holding his sister.

After sometime, I relented. That boy needed some good hugs.

I put the sister on the bed and carried him. Not long after, his sister started to cry! But big brother still did not want to go down. He looked at her crying and he asked me to ask one of the aunts to carry her. I told him there were no aunts around now. Only the three of us.

Then he said, "I want to go down now." He looked pretty sad. I put him down on the bed, and joined in to feed Kay. Jove started stroking his sister's arm, kissing her little fist, looking at her lovingly.

Then he said slowly, "I'm sorry, Sis."

"Why did you say sorry?" I asked him.

"Because I cried," he answered. ("Soalnya koko nangis", katanya.)

He slept while holding her hand. And I don't think I can put my feelings into words...

little miss kay

We took much less photos of our little lady than of her brother. The woes of being the second child. And we did not write down her developments as often either...

According to my notes, she has started sleeping well at night since the first week of February. Only waking up for feeding... oh well, not really waking up too, she just searches for my breast and contently drinks while sleeping. Since we co-sleep, breastfeeding at night is very easy for me too. Most of the time, I couldn't even remember whether I breastfed her at night.

This little girl has a preference to be carried upright and has a neck strength that amazed the grandmas. She started smiling when being talked to when she turned two month.

Unlike her brother, Kay threw up a lot during her first two months. Most of the time because of overfeeding (she continuously wanted to suck even after being full). But since she is plumping up alright, I am not too worried. She only threw up when she was coughing now (still sick, poor baby).

These few days, Kay has enjoyed her tummy time so much. Sometimes she asked for it! She would whimper or cry a bit and stopped when I placed her on her tummy. She even smiled after that. Soon, I won't be able to leave her alone on the bed!

Health update: Jove has recovered but Kay was still coughing.

making jelly

Today is Papa's birthday. We made jelly in the morning. Jove mixed the jelly powder with sugar and he also stirred the liquid once in a while. I poured a thin layer of the liquid on a flat plate, waited for a while, then shoved it into the freezer. Two minutes later, voila, a cold jelly flab for Jove to observe, play, and eat.

Papa can eat the jelly when he came back later. Happy birthday, Pa!