three months and a week before the wedding. a month and a week before going back for good. about the same time before going for another blood test and doctor visit. and there are still a lot of outstanding things to be done. a lot of things to be paid. and only another three weeks to the unemployment.
the other night, i watched a documentary about cleaners life, those people working in toilets, among rubbish bins, or dirty plates. they worked really hard just to earn some little sum per month. unable to find a better paying job. here, i have a good job and i am leaving it. am i sane enough?
i couldn't really answer that now. this last one year, our live has been a big question mark for others. we chose long distance relationship, lower paying job in a less secure city, and exposed ourselves to a lot of risk and insecurity.
a big WHY?
i'm still grappling to answer that too. wondering if we have chosen the right path. wondering if the prolactinoma thing is something to call us to back off. wondering if we will be okay in the future.
that is my mind talking.
my heart talks about the excitement of staying near my family. about the lovely end of our long distance relationship. about having breakfast and dinner together. and hopefully, a flexible working hours.
sometimes, i don't know which one should i follow. my mind or my heart?
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