goodbye engkong...

This morning, my mother-in-law's father passed away. We called him Engkong. While I knew him only for the past four or five year, this remarkable man had a tremendous impact on me. Let me share some memories that I treasured about him.

This note below was written in my journal on Saturday night, 24 January 2009.

He smiled his special smile again when I asked him the question. That smile always reached to his eyes and made them twinkle with some sort of warm glow. He answered by telling me his love story.

Engkong and Emak were married when he was twenty and she was fifteen. They had seven children. They had good and bad times and were together through it all. They lived in Lasem, a small town in the northern East Java.

Their children grew up and started to move to other big cities till only the two of them were left. After that they used to travel by car visiting their children. He told me smugly that he used to drive all the way from Surabaya to Jakarta in one go, just stopping for meal breaks.

I gawked at this! I used to go with my family from Jakarta to Semarang (and back) by car and I always felt tired after the 10-hour journey. And I did not even drive! I asked whether he felt tired or sleepy at all during the whole day-long car drive. He smiled, that smile, and answered like this: "As long as she was with me, I didn't get tired."

They apparently talked and enjoyed each other company so much that driving 725 km was a cinch!

Then in my note on 26 Jan 2009:

Engkong said that husband and wife had to support each other and be a good team in EVERYTHING. This is the key to success.

Emak died in 1992. A sudden death that shocked him. He told me in several occasions that after she died, he was like an empty shell, just waiting to die... waiting to meet her again. It's a pity that I've never met her. I would love to be able to witness their wonderful marriage. He said that their children had been planning to celebrate their 50th anniversary (in 1995), but she died...

During our stroll in a mall once, when I walked with him, he told me that he would always be the one gave in after every fight. He would do that before they went to sleep. It was easy to win her heart with a hug and a loving kiss, he told me with a chuckle. Ooooh, how I hope my husband inherited this trait!

Engkong always included Emak in every card that he gave his children and grandchildren. During Chinese New Year, he would put his name card inside the hongbao, and 'Engkong & Emak' would always be written there. When my husband was sick, he gave us a hongbao with the name card and a written get-well-soon note, from Engkong & Emak. Whenever he gave his blessing, like the one during our wedding, he talked in behalf of Emak.

When I received the news that he passed away, I imagined him smiling his special smile. At last the day he has been waiting for eighteen years has arrived... the day he would meet his sweetheart, his first love, his wife, his best friend.

It would not be easy for us, we will definitely miss him... but I'm sure that today Engkong is happier than ever.

Thank you Engkong. For being a wonderful grandpa, for being a huge inspiration in loving, for all of your attention and smiles and precious advices. I'm just beyond blessed to be able to know you and become your granddaughter even just for a few years. I love you. Be happy now, with the Lord, and with your sweetheart.