Sunday, May 10, 2009

communication and trust

It was a nice Saturday afternoon, the weather was good. The sun, the not-so-cloudy blue sky, the coolness of the wind after the rain. Hubby drove around while I sat in the back seat with Kay on my breast and Jove slept, his head nestled on the pillow next to me, just touching his sister's head.

That was when we finally talked. The heart-to-heart kind. The discussion kind. It was a first for a really long time.

These days, we usually just exchanged one or two liners or short stories on the kids activities. A lot of frustrating arguments about the kids and other stuff in life. Jove was doing a lot of mischief and refusing to nap lately. Kay woke up longer during the day. Staying alone with both of them in the house was quite a challenge for an unorganized mother with little home management skill like me. Tired hubby came home from work with an expectation to play with the kids, but a tired wife welcomed him with a lot of additional chores (please help me clean this and that) and complaints. Both of our exhausted spirit combined were still much too lower to match Jove's battery power who could last past midnight. So by the time Jove slept, both of us were usually asleep too. No time to really talk.

I searched and read a lot about parenting stuff online, when I could. I tried this and that method in getting Jove to sleep, I talked about this and that method to hubby when asking him to help Jove to sleep. That frustrated me. And irritated him. Hubby is a practical kind of person who rarely read.

So today when we finally talk, it was great to find out that in the end both of us agreed on the same 'method' to handle this active child of ours (and his sister). I told him what I've read (especially the emails from an amazing woman) and he said he never cared of methods, or whatever name I used, that was the way he wanted all along.

The journey is still long for both of us to enjoy and savor. It is great to know that we are in tune with each other in this long journey of parenthood. As I watched my babies slept and my love drove us in the warm light of the setting sun, I felt tremendous happiness and gratitude for everything that made this moment happened.