on having children

I currently re-read Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. If you have not read it, go and find one. It's a good book about life's greatest lesson. Anyway, I stumbled upon this today:

"Whenever people ask me about having children or not having children, I never tell them what to do," Morrie said now, looking at a photo of his oldest son. "I simply say, 'There is no experience like having children.' That's all. There is no substitute for it. You cannot do it with a friend. You cannot do it with a lover. If you want the experience of having complete responsibility for another human being, and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way, then you should have children."

From chapter: The Fifth Tuesday - We Talk About Family

The first time I read this book was long ago in my university days, I was not a parent yet. Now that I am one, I am touched in a new way by this chapter on family.

Being parent is indeed a special experience. Morrie put it fittingly in those lines.

on children

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

- From The Prophet by Khalil Gibran

learning from a child

It's about three thirty in the afternoon. I brought Jove out to play on the grass in front of the house. We spent a considerably long time examining the rough texture of the grass (a little bit dry because of the hot afternoon sun, I supposed) and the warmth of the stone slabs.

I followed Jove's lead on what to do. We walked on the ticklish grass barefooted, we hopped from stone to stone, we sat down and pulled out some weeds that grew among the grasses, Jove pulled some grasses. The sky was blue, some birds flew above us. The soft breeze caressed our hair lovingly. I could be laying down in a field of green grass with colorful wild flowers and feel as happy as I was this afternoon.

One secret of happiness that I learned from Jovan is as simple as living every second of your day to the fullest. Well, I don't feel happy all the time and I may not remember this secret at all times, but for half an hour this afternoon, I was truly happy.

I did have some thoughts on what the neighbors would say looking at a mother and her son looking intently at grasses and stones while smiling cheerfully at each other. Err, well, that's another secret of happiness that the children possessed: do not care about what other people will think of you. Just enjoy what you do (and what you have) at the moment and be happy. That works for me this afternoon.

so it has been two years

With Jove around, time flies faster. I did not realize it has been two years since we got married.

The first year was a very bumpy ride with lots of uncertainty coupled with anxiety of having a baby. We knew someone else has joined us in the journey on the twenty second day of our marriage. Big surprise indeed! Thus, we had a three-month old Jovan on the day of our first anniversary.

The second year was not that bumpy and we had lots of fun watching Jovan grew (and playing with him too). God has blessed us with so many things that we did not even think we deserved. We secured our first brick and mortar home today. It's a divine intervention that the date of the certificate fell on the same day as our second anniversary. A best friend of mine always reminded me of this verse whenever I felt insecure for the future: God makes all things beautiful in His time.

Indeed He does.

babble bubble

(u)dah, mama, papa, bapak, mbak, bu, mau, yuk, nggak, ya, hloo, no, car, truck, bus, tank, (ru)mah, (i)tu, (i)ni, (thank) you, ama, xie xie, (helicop)ter, (nya)muk, kena, enak, suka, (can)tik, (je)lek, star, bubble, (wa)ter, main, down, up, fly, sky, buah, nenen, (sam)pah, hiiii, idih, aduh, (sa)kit, (ko)dok, bebek, duck, cow, lucu, buka, pok pok (horse), mamam

I might have missed several words, but those words are roughly his vocabulary now. He learned to say 80% of them in the last two months. He really shows God's amazing work in him. I am constantly amazed at the rate he learned things, the way he mastered the language, remember songs, do new things... Whew. Being a parent is the greatest blessing ever... and with a great blessing comes a great responsibility.

After dinner tonight, Jove saw kueh ku (the red turtle-like Chinese snack, made of ketan, with green bean filling) on the table and said he wanted it. He took the package, gave it to me, asked me to open it, then he sat down politely on the floor. After he finished, he actually got up, took the plastic package (now empty), toddled to the rubbish bin, and put the thing nicely into the bin without any prompting from anyone. I just watched him doing that and filled with pride, joy, and gratitude.

After that, I went around the house announcing the great deed he just did to everyone. Haha.

on his own

Jovan stopped walking on his own after he fell down a few weeks ago. Before that, he managed to walk a few steps forward for two days. He finally had the courage to walk on his own again on August 21st, in the afternoon. That day, he walked in straight lines for a few metres. The next day, he managed to turn right and left and even turn around without toppling down. I guess he really waited until he was sure he could walk before trying walking on his own.

Today he has covered the whole house and the front yard. He loves to walk to the water dispenser when he thinks that nobody notice (of course somebody is always keeping an eye on him). He likes to stand on the base of the standing fan, holding on the pole, and switching the fan on and off. He has tried to open almost every cupboard that he could get his hand into, climbing up and down the chair, and running out from the house when the front door was open. We got busier with him around now.

Last Friday, Jove asked for 'more' when he has finished his bowl of rice. And today is the first time he asked for his dinner! Maybe he was hungry and he asked me to feed him. Usually he asked for breastmilk, so it was a nice surprise that he could do that.

Goodness, I'm not really prepared for all these new developments of him. They happened in such a short time. Every single day he learned some new things or some new words and most of the times that happened my heart bursts with joy. :)

The picture above was taken this afternoon when we let him play on the grass again. Grandma put the flowers and asked him to pray, my sister took the picture. Parents should be thankful for digital cameras. I could not imagine how much money we would spent on films to take perfect (not blurred) pictures of the constantly-moving kid.

another trip to semarang

We had another trip to Semarang and Salatiga by bus. Jove was pretty cranky on the bus this time because he had a mild cold. In fact, the whole family except dad (two grandparents, three aunts, Jove, and me) caught the bug a few days before the trip. After the trip, everybody's health got worse, except Jovan (thankfully).

We departed on Thursday night, shortly after ten. I spent the whole night trying to sleep while cradling Jovan to sleep. He woke up several times and night and continuously asked for breastmilk. Both of my milk-tanks went dry by the time we reached Semarang at about one on Friday afternoon.

Jove was excited looking at his great-grandfather on the bus ride to Salatiga from Semarang and he got busy playing with great-grandpa's cane. Grandma was sleeping when we arrived, and when she woke up a few hours later, Jovan was sleeping. It happened the two times we went there, so Jovan didn't get to meet his great-grandma properly.

Saturday evening, hubby, Jovan, and I accompanied my grandpa back to Semarang in his car (with a driver). On the way, I thought a lot about my dear cousin, Rika, and whole day we've spent together in May. Miss you a lot, cousin dear! This trip will be more fun with you around. :)

Sunday morning, we headed back to Jakarta. Grandpa did not allow us to go back and made us stay for another two hours. We stopped to have lunch at a restaurant near the sea in Indramayu and look at how happy Jovan was! He was fascinated with the strong sea breeze and the waves. He kept on laughing while holding his hands up, trying to catch the wind. The water was brown and muddy and the scenery was not beautiful at all, but all he saw was the blue blue sky, the fresh breeze, and the sunny Saturday afternoon.


Grandpa introduced Jovan to the wet sand. It was not white nor clean, but Jovan and grandpa ignored those facts. He enjoyed the new texture of the wet sand and he was quite amazed when the waves licked his toes.


Children. Let them remind us of the simple beauty of this earth.