anve learning journal

time capsule

2011-10-15T22:51:00.002+07:00

Two days ago, dad brought down three bottles of hongjiu (alcoholic drink made of fermented black glutinous rice) that his mother made when my mom just delivered my youngest sister in 1988. Yesterday and today, I've been eating chicken cooked in that. It has sweetened as it aged over the past 23 years. My grandma died in 1998. So those bottles has been a time capsule, preserving her handmade love for all those years.

For me, having a newborn always bring wonderful things from the past. Some of the baby's clothes are the clothes that were worn by my sisters and me when we were newborns. Some of the clothes and the blankets were handmade by mom. And I even have the baby belts (something to wrap over baby's tummy) that my maternal grandma made, evenly hand stitched along the sides.

So I just write it down here to remember the goodness and the warmth that those love from the past bring into the present. And I really would love to learn making those handmade things/food that can be passed down to the next generations. :)

five

2011-06-26T07:38:00.000+07:00

So you turned five today, our sweet little boy.

Those five years seemed to pass in a blink.

You introduced me us to parenthood so sweetly. With your gentle soul and generous smile, we thread the unknown path together. You are gentle and sweet and never cease to amaze us with your wonderfulness. You are cheeky and always surprise us with your pranks. You are creative and very often blow us away with your 3D paper creations or your sophisticated drawing. You are caring to your parents and sisters and your other loved ones, you touched us so deeply with your affections. You are helpful. You are willing to wait patiently for your mommy to take her afternoon nap for an hour or two (while you toss and turn or draw next to mommy, you are so sweet that way).

We want to thank you for making this journey a wonderful one. Having you home with us now (for who knows how long), living, learning and growing together, is a privilege for us. We love you, dear Jove. We are forever thankful for this chance to be your parents and knowing and loving you.

Happy 5th Birthday. Thank you for being the person you are.

Love,

Pa and Ma

reading

2011-05-06T22:01:00.000+07:00

"Spiderman." Jove suddenly read the words on the notebook. He even read it upside down. I was surprised and asked him to identify 'spider' and he actually knew!

A week ago, he read 'city'. Then this morning, when I did some illustrator work of a lion family and type 'Roar!', he asked me what it was. "What do you think?" I asked him. He paused for a while, took a good look at the word, and answered, "Roar?"

My son is learning to read!!! Okay, this might not be a big news for most of you and I might sound a little stupid in feeling happy of his progress. I know one of his friend has learned to read at two year old and his same-age cousin has started to read months ago. But it's not the speed of his learning, but the wonderful process of his self-learning that I joyfully celebrate here. I've hardly initiate teaching how to read to him. He did not like flash card and he only played the phonic games when he felt like it (which was just once in every few months). Sometimes I did feel like a failure/lazy mom who was too lazy to enforce any learning to her kids (so and so has started to read and write and he is the same age as Jove, my mind would say). But when the learning spurt came back, I would stood there amazed at the whole process.

He learned reading by writing, mostly. He loves to draw line art, so naturally he started to write titles for his drawings, labels for certain things, write numbers on the race cars... and these few weeks, he started to write on dialogue balloons like comics! He would ask me how to write Indiana Jones, Lego, Spongebob Squarepants, Toy Story, Cars Toon, Madgascars, Buzz, Woody, and the like (you get the idea). I would spell the letters and he would write them. As time goes by, the spelling and the writing goes faster and he even can spell them out by himself. He started recognizing familiar words everywhere (games, the, play, etc) and started reading them. He gets really excited when he found out that he can really read those words... and so do I.

So I'm going to write it down here as a reminder for myself. I will keep on trusting my children's ability and eagerness to learn things. It's really a wonderful journey to watch them blooming and growing on their own. I'll be walking along as their helper, assistant, guide, companion, cheerleader, comforter, mommy, and whatever role they will need me to be.

Jove will start going to school in July. I'm still not very sure on how he (and all of us) will fit into the system. I guess I need to trust him more and know that he will do just fine. :P

the third one

2011-05-04T08:28:00.000+07:00

So life has been busy and wonderful. I've missed writing about lots of precious moments that has happened this year. It's a quiet morning now, Kay has gone back to sleep, Jove is still sleeping... and I think it's time to write about the third one in the blog.

We found out at the end of January that I'm pregnant (again!). It was quite a surprise. We never thought of welcoming another baby in 2011! The first trimester was quite nauseous and tiring (I craved sleeping all the time). But entering this second trimester, my energy came back and I feel really good. :)

We had an ultrasound check last Saturday and confirmed my suspicion that I'm carrying another girl! I had a dark linea nigra when I was carrying Jove. But none when I was pregnant with Kay and I did not have it this time too. It was the first and the strongest clue that made me thought I was having another girl. Miss Kay had guessed that she would have a sister all along. Jove is excited in having two sisters. My sweet boy, he's a fabulous big brother. I really would kill to have a big brother like him. :)

This year will be a wonderful year. We've been counting the weeks together with the developed little baby in the womb, and the journey will be more exciting when the little one has come out. Her estimated due date is the first of October (our wedding anniversary!). :)

late afternoon walk with the kids

2011-03-15T19:03:00.001+07:00

carving pumpkin

2010-10-22T22:24:00.000+07:00

our first jack-o-lantern

daddy came home with a pumpkin. :D

steaming hot sup!

2010-09-08T18:26:00.000+07:00

it has been raining since late morning. well, these past few days were rainy days. we were down with cold (only kay is well now, recovered from cough last week and managed to stay healthy).

today is the first day of hubby's holiday. he will be at home with us till next wednesday! yeah! we stayed at home all day. cycling through the housing area in the morning, then welcoming old friends (with their 10 mo son) in the late afternoon.

now hubby is playing with the kids on the bed (jumping, swinging on the hammock, etc) and i am writing this while waiting for the bubbling pork soup on the stove ready for dinner. yum.

thank you lord. for everything. :)

sweet brother

2010-05-25T16:22:00.000+07:00

the kids were playing jump-from-headboard-to-bed game last night. they took turn climbing the headboard then jumping onto the bed. sometimes they hugged each other or hold hands and jumped together.

at one jump, their heads bumped together. while still hugging his sister, laying on the bed, jove cringed and asked, "are you okay, sis?"

the sister, who was okay, was not paying attention. she stood up and continued to climb the bed's headboard again. but mommy (who stood there watching) was so touched. that boy felt hurt yet he cared more about the sister!

i really need to learn a loooot from that boy.

parenting

2010-05-05T23:07:00.002+07:00

parenting is a path of maturation and growth if we dare to learn more and teach less.
-naomi aldort in her book, raising our children, raising ourselves

the only thing you can change

2010-05-05T22:46:00.002+07:00

wonderfully put here.

grandpa baptized!

2010-04-14T14:19:00.002+07:00

oh wow. another surprise.

my grandpa was baptized yesterday in the hospital. he will turn 90 this july. we just visited him the saturday before last. i want to write more... but no time at the moment. so leaving this note here first... ^_^

oh wow!

surrounded by beauty

2010-04-09T22:24:00.002+07:00

beautiful sunset sky just from the front porch

These two days, the sunset turned the sky a glorious orange-pink color. Oh well, I'm not capable enough to describe the beauty (nor the camera is good enough to capture the real coolness of the sky). Just writing it here to remind myself that we are indeed surrounded by beauty. :)

planting green beans

2010-04-08T08:52:00.005+07:00

we just planted green beans (or more correctly, mung beans) yesterday. they have been sprouting significantly today. :)this started because jove was fascinated with boowa and kwala planting green beans. check it out here. the instructions to plant green beans from boowa and kwala can be found here.

then this morning, i found this interesing site: ecoliteracy, which has this activity of making mini greenhouse from a recycled cd case.

exciting project for mother and son. :)

eight years

2010-04-06T13:26:00.003+07:00

this date eight years ago, hubby asked me to be his girlfriend. :)

it has been a meaningful journey. and i thank God for the first day we start this journey together.

baptized!

2010-04-05T18:59:00.001+07:00

we were late when we entered the church that wednesday night. five minutes past seven. the four of us, my husband, and the two kids. the mass has already started, the first reading was being read.

i could see papa and mama sitting in one of the front pews together with their catechism classmates, wearing white tops and black bottoms.

andi and i hovered around the back of the church with the restless kids.

then when the baptism started, there was a blackout! the lights went off with a loud sound (coming from the sound system that went off). so the baptism was done with candle lights in darkness. no microphone, sound system, nor any musical instrument. the choir just sang with their own voices. i thought that was how the first christians were baptized, and that was beautiful.

i remembered my prayers when i was younger and was pretty awed that God remembered my prayers even after i forgotten it. when my parents started going to catechism class, i was pretty surprised but still a bit skeptical. the realization hit full blast in the dark during the baptism. and i felt so grateful and loved and happy. :)

the lights went on after the baptism. so the anointing of the chrism oil was done in the light.

thank you, Lord.

one of those weeks...

2010-04-02T23:47:00.000+07:00

some weeks, you just can't do any other thing than being with your kids and the people around you.

i am currently working on a personal exciting project and i take every available time to do it. i used to sneak up on my kids, forced poor husband to take care of the kids (while i ran off to the computer), and being grumpy whenever i could not have the time to do it... then husband and i had a talk. and what he said to me made a lot of sense.

this week, i had very little time to do the project. there was always something coming up. but instead of being grumpy, i am accepting the fact that all these flurry of activities actually show how rich my life is. and i am thankful for that.

we went to bogor last sunday, visiting engkong & emak's grave with my in-laws. tiring but a lot of fun. then my parents got baptized on wednesday night (deserve a full blog post on its own later). our dear old friend from singapore, donny, came visiting us today. and we had to wake up at about three or three thirty a.m. soon for our flight to semarang at six a.m. to visit grandpa.

i still have a little disappointment in not having enough time to do the project (that's why i'm writing this post, i think), but i count my blessings and i am truly thankful for this blessed week.

schools kill creativity

2010-03-20T22:45:00.003+07:00

I find this talk by Sir Ken Robinson interesting. :)

playground

2010-03-18T01:11:00.000+07:00

what if the world is really your playground?

enough

2010-03-09T10:13:00.006+07:00

The word 'enough' has come several times to me this past two weeks. First, it was from a book I was reading (by Jostein Gaarder), about how we evolved to be human with two hands and two feet because two hands and two feet are enough for us. Then when I blog-walked a few days after, I encountered some blog post about being enough, one of them is this. Then just last Sunday, there was this column in Kompas, written by Samuel Mulia, titled "Enough".

I pondered on the word often.

As I googled the blogs for link references above, I found this article by Ruthe McDonald. I especially like this paragraph:

Yet, none of this is possible if I cannot accept who I am. If I cannot love me. If I cannot be content in the skin I'm in, until I am who God has called me to be. Don't get me wrong, when I say: accept who you are, I want you to always strive for what God says you can have. Accepting who you are, is the ability to love who you are and where you are going, without comparing yourself, or coveting what some else has. Accepting who you are does not mean that you stop dreaming, or living, or trying to enrich and improve your life. Accepting yourself, is loving who you are enough to become who God has ordained you to be.

I am enough.

I am loved.

lent and bedtime

2010-03-07T06:33:00.005+07:00

During this season of Lent, I am abstaining from complaining. It was easy during the first day, then I tend to forget about my abstinence.

The struggle is harder around bedtime, which in my family happens around midnight. No matter what the activities are, Jove seems to have his energy renewed in the few hours approaching sleep. His favorite activities consist of playing with his cars on the bed, watching movie (he has been playing UP every single night for more than a week now), jumping up and down the bed, drawing, and being read a book (his latest favorite is a children's encyclopedia). Sometimes he asked for a snack or a glass of milk.

I used to become so grumpy if he didn't want to sleep at around eleven. But I stopped since being grumpy irritated my husband and my children, plus it didn't make Jove sleep earlier anyway. I tried to be involved in his activities and enjoyed it. Our favorite is to put the children on a blanket, then my husband and I will swing them while singing some songs. The we drop them on the bed giggling and asking for more and more until my hands are red and sore (being stronger, husband has no problem with that).

Last night, I was tired. Jove did not nap during the day and he was still very physically active at midnight. I got angry and I forced him to sleep. I complained high and low about how tired I was and how I needed rest and how I was sore of breastfeeding Kay to sleep (she kept on waking up because of his brother's activities). He slept at last. But I regretted my actions.

This morning, my husband told me that I should not force the kids to sleep again. Because sleeping is a peaceful act, the kids should be able to fall asleep in peace. Well, I completely agree with that. I just need to figure out what I can do to stay nice and sweet till my kids fall asleep peacefully.

everyone has talent

2010-03-07T06:10:00.003+07:00

On Thursday, I went with mom and the kids to Mall of Indonesia, Kelapa Gading. When we crossed the ground floor to go from lobby 5 to lobby 1, I glimpsed an x-banner ad by Jaya Suprana school of performing art (if I was not mistaken) and a beautiful quote by Erica Jong written on top of it. We were walking quickly with the two kids in tow and I missed the ending of the quote (with no chance to walk back and re-read). I found it just now, accidentally, when I was blog-surfing.

Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.

I did not know who Erica Jong was. After a few clicks, I know that she is apparently a well-known novelist, essayist and poet. I also found her writings here.

couldn't fail

2010-03-06T06:01:00.000+07:00

What would you do If you know you couldn't fail?

goodbye engkong...

2010-02-09T23:03:00.010+07:00

This morning, my mother-in-law's father passed away. We called him Engkong. While I knew him only for the past four or five year, this remarkable man had a tremendous impact on me. Let me share some memories that I treasured about him.

This note below was written in my journal on Saturday night, 24 January 2009.

He smiled his special smile again when I asked him the question. That smile always reached to his eyes and made them twinkle with some sort of warm glow. He answered by telling me his love story.
Engkong and Emak were married when he was twenty and she was fifteen. They had seven children. They had good and bad times and were together through it all. They lived in Lasem, a small town in the northern East Java.
Their children grew up and started to move to other big cities till only the two of them were left. After that they used to travel by car visiting their children. He told me smugly that he used to drive all the way from Surabaya to Jakarta in one go, just stopping for meal breaks.
I gawked at this! I used to go with my family from Jakarta to Semarang (and back) by car and I always felt tired after the 10-hour journey. And I did not even drive! I asked whether he felt tired or sleepy at all during the whole day-long car drive. He smiled, that smile, and answered like this: "As long as she was with me, I didn't get tired."
They apparently talked and enjoyed each other company so much that driving 725 km was a cinch!

Then in my note on 26 Jan 2009:

Engkong said that husband and wife had to support each other and be a good team in EVERYTHING. This is the key to success.

Emak died in 1992. A sudden death that shocked him. He told me in several occasions that after she died, he was like an empty shell, just waiting to die... waiting to meet her again. It's a pity that I've never met her. I would love to be able to witness their wonderful marriage. He said that their children had been planning to celebrate their 50th anniversary (in 1995), but she died...

During our stroll in a mall once, when I walked with him, he told me that he would always be the one gave in after every fight. He would do that before they went to sleep. It was easy to win her heart with a hug and a loving kiss, he told me with a chuckle. Ooooh, how I hope my husband inherited this trait!

Engkong always included Emak in every card that he gave his children and grandchildren. During Chinese New Year, he would put his name card inside the hongbao, and 'Engkong & Emak' would always be written there. When my husband was sick, he gave us a hongbao with the name card and a written get-well-soon note, from Engkong & Emak. Whenever he gave his blessing, like the one during our wedding, he talked in behalf of Emak.

When I received the news that he passed away, I imagined him smiling his special smile. At last the day he has been waiting for eighteen years has arrived... the day he would meet his sweetheart, his first love, his wife, his best friend.

It would not be easy for us, we will definitely miss him... but I'm sure that today Engkong is happier than ever.

Thank you Engkong. For being a wonderful grandpa, for being a huge inspiration in loving, for all of your attention and smiles and precious advices. I'm just beyond blessed to be able to know you and become your granddaughter even just for a few years. I love you. Be happy now, with the Lord, and with your sweetheart.

it should be green

2009-11-26T11:20:00.006+07:00

Jovan was accidentally looking at the computer's monitor and saw his drawing that I digitally colored.

"Ma, it's wrong. It's not red. It should be green," he protested.

"Oh, sorry, I thought those are mushrooms." I replied.

"No. Those are trees. Trees that are seen from far."

(Nggak Ma, itu pohon. Pohonnya jauh, jadi kecil.)

Wow. I never think that he knows perspective already!

three

2009-06-26T01:15:00.001+07:00

Dear Jove,

As I held your hand to sleep tonight, I prayed to God, "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you..."

Thank you for all the moments, all the tears, all the joy, all the lessons, all the pain, all the smiles... well, basically, THANK YOU for blessing me with this grace of being your mother for these three years (and nine months).

I still can't believe that you have turned three. I still can't believe that I hardly ever carried you again during the day (you used to stick on me like a limb) and I have not nursed to you sleep for a year now (you used be an extension of my breast at night).

Do you still remember the days when I wished you would start talking? Or the days when I urged you to let go of my hands to walk by yourself? Now you talked nonstop during your waking time. Jumping and running and climbing and sliding down and riding your truck and jumping some more... nonstop too.

I should stop expecting things from you and should really savor the moments we shared together more intensely. You are no longer my toddler, darling boy. You are growing up (sometimes too fast for my liking) to be a man.

This past week, you have decided to spend your nights sleeping in your grandparent's house against our will. Your Papa was sad and devastated. He always missed you and always always always wanted to sleep with you at night (no matter how many nights you have kept him awake with his droopy sleepy eyes to read you just five more story books). I told him, you were just sleeping five minutes away from home in the embrace of his loving aunt... How would we feel when you decide to go abroad for your study? How would we feel when you find your girl, marry her, and live somewhere far from us? Honestly, your father and I had no answer for that.

We are just glad and thankful that you relented and slept with us yesterday... and today... and hopefully tomorrow (and for the rest of your life, hehehe).

Thank you for being such a sweet wonderful smart cheerful boy these three years. We LOVE you.

Papa & Mama

communication and trust

2009-05-10T02:13:00.005+07:00

It was a nice Saturday afternoon, the weather was good. The sun, the not-so-cloudy blue sky, the coolness of the wind after the rain. Hubby drove around while I sat in the back seat with Kay on my breast and Jove slept, his head nestled on the pillow next to me, just touching his sister's head.

That was when we finally talked. The heart-to-heart kind. The discussion kind. It was a first for a really long time.

These days, we usually just exchanged one or two liners or short stories on the kids activities. A lot of frustrating arguments about the kids and other stuff in life. Jove was doing a lot of mischief and refusing to nap lately. Kay woke up longer during the day. Staying alone with both of them in the house was quite a challenge for an unorganized mother with little home management skill like me. Tired hubby came home from work with an expectation to play with the kids, but a tired wife welcomed him with a lot of additional chores (please help me clean this and that) and complaints. Both of our exhausted spirit combined were still much too lower to match Jove's battery power who could last past midnight. So by the time Jove slept, both of us were usually asleep too. No time to really talk.

I searched and read a lot about parenting stuff online, when I could. I tried this and that method in getting Jove to sleep, I talked about this and that method to hubby when asking him to help Jove to sleep. That frustrated me. And irritated him. Hubby is a practical kind of person who rarely read.

So today when we finally talk, it was great to find out that in the end both of us agreed on the same 'method' to handle this active child of ours (and his sister). I told him what I've read (especially the emails from an amazing woman) and he said he never cared of methods, or whatever name I used, that was the way he wanted all along.

The journey is still long for both of us to enjoy and savor. It is great to know that we are in tune with each other in this long journey of parenthood. As I watched my babies slept and my love drove us in the warm light of the setting sun, I felt tremendous happiness and gratitude for everything that made this moment happened.

aunt jen's visit

2009-03-09T02:06:00.006+07:00

This Sunday, we met our friend from NTU, Singapore. Jove called her Aunty Jenny.

We started early, with Jove still sleeping, and drove to Ritz-Carlton to pick Aunty Jenny. Jove awakened when we reached the hotel. I told him that Aunty Jenny only spoke English, so he has to greet her in English.

When Jenny went into the car, he did not greet her, but introducing her to Buzz Lightyear plastic toy that he had.

"This is Buzz Lightyear!" (pointing the toy at Aunt Jen)
"To infinity and beyoooooond!" (Buzz flew around)

We went to Church of St. Theresia for the English Sunday Mass, then for delicious mpek-mpek lunch (where Jove got acquintanced with a few kids). Then we followed Aunty Jenny to her room and had some tea and fun chat in her really cool hotel room.

Jove could answer some simple questions and he was not shy in trying to communicate. Children, even though they have not mastered the language, have better communication skills than adults, I think. The best skills are their sincerety and total curiousity. Oh, and their innocence and their smile too!

I've really nothing to worry for his socialization skill.

Thank you Aunty Jenny for the sweets and heaps of good time! :D

she loves picture books!

2009-03-06T22:41:00.004+07:00

While Jove were away with his grandma (due to his recurring cough), I had more one-to-one time with baby Kay. I read her The Very Hungry Caterpillar three times today. She loved it. She stopped fidgeting and paid close attention to the book from start to finish.

I remembered that Jove used to be like that too, I just could not recall whether he did it when he was this young.

It is good if the children love to read, isn't it? Then they can spend a few hours on their own being immersed in another world, and the mother can have sometime to do her own stuff. Ha ha.

I'm sorry, Sis!

2009-03-05T07:32:00.006+07:00

Jovan was pretty cranky yesterday afternoon. He kept on asking me to carry him while I was holding his sister.

After sometime, I relented. That boy needed some good hugs.

I put the sister on the bed and carried him. Not long after, his sister started to cry! But big brother still did not want to go down. He looked at her crying and he asked me to ask one of the aunts to carry her. I told him there were no aunts around now. Only the three of us.

Then he said, "I want to go down now." He looked pretty sad. I put him down on the bed, and joined in to feed Kay. Jove started stroking his sister's arm, kissing her little fist, looking at her lovingly.

Then he said slowly, "I'm sorry, Sis."

"Why did you say sorry?" I asked him.

"Because I cried," he answered. ("Soalnya koko nangis", katanya.)

He slept while holding her hand. And I don't think I can put my feelings into words...

little miss kay

2009-02-25T02:19:00.002+07:00

We took much less photos of our little lady than of her brother. The woes of being the second child. And we did not write down her developments as often either...

According to my notes, she has started sleeping well at night since the first week of February. Only waking up for feeding... oh well, not really waking up too, she just searches for my breast and contently drinks while sleeping. Since we co-sleep, breastfeeding at night is very easy for me too. Most of the time, I couldn't even remember whether I breastfed her at night.

This little girl has a preference to be carried upright and has a neck strength that amazed the grandmas. She started smiling when being talked to when she turned two month.

Unlike her brother, Kay threw up a lot during her first two months. Most of the time because of overfeeding (she continuously wanted to suck even after being full). But since she is plumping up alright, I am not too worried. She only threw up when she was coughing now (still sick, poor baby).

These few days, Kay has enjoyed her tummy time so much. Sometimes she asked for it! She would whimper or cry a bit and stopped when I placed her on her tummy. She even smiled after that. Soon, I won't be able to leave her alone on the bed!

Health update: Jove has recovered but Kay was still coughing.

making jelly

2009-02-23T17:46:00.003+07:00

Today is Papa's birthday. We made jelly in the morning. Jove mixed the jelly powder with sugar and he also stirred the liquid once in a while. I poured a thin layer of the liquid on a flat plate, waited for a while, then shoved it into the freezer. Two minutes later, voila, a cold jelly flab for Jove to observe, play, and eat.

Papa can eat the jelly when he came back later. Happy birthday, Pa!

the labor

2009-02-20T20:36:00.006+07:00

Kay was born in a nearby hospital, less than five minutes drive from home. We took our own sweet time to go there, no rushing. Yen went with us, armed with a laptop full of soothing music to accompany my labor. I read Hypnobirthing: the Mongan Method prior to this labor, I did some of the exercises (not diligently), and thought that I have more or less prepared it.

We went into the delivery room at about 9 pm. My two sisters, Yen and Lan, were with us. I was strapped to the monitoring device for 30 minutes. Yen spent the time pleading to be allowed to see the labor process. When the doctor came to see me, she asked for his permission to be present during labor. The doc allowed her. Lucky gal!

I was doing good. I could still maintain my self control until about 11 pm. Then the nurse checked and said that I have not advanced much and advised to break my water. I nervously agreed.

Big mistake.

The contractions after the water broke was a lot more painful. I lost my self control and squirmed in pain with every contraction. The nurses and the doctor hold me, told me to be calm, and I wailed. They asked me not to lift up my butt and to stop squirming for so many times. Thirty minutes later, with two or three pushes, Kayla was born at 11:18 pm. Thank God that was quite fast.

I breastfed Kay soon after (while being painfully stitched) . My two sisters and husband hovered around the baby, taking photos. My sisters even carried the baby (and took photos) for a while before she was put inside the incubator to keep her warm. I had to wait for a while before I could go up to the room. Ling came with french fries from a nearby McD and the troops chatted while gobbling up the fries and accompany me in my waiting time.

Kay slept with me in the room that night. During the stay in the hospital, she drank two bottles of formula with my permission. *sigh* Jovan did not drink a drop of formula ever and I never ever expected that my second time would be harder. Kay kept on crying even after I have switched her to feed from one breast to the other several times until my nipples felt so sore. The nurse then offered to take her to give her some more drink from the bottle and the tired me agreed. Kay slept peacefully for a few hours after that, giving me time to rest and refill my tanks. I still have mixed feelings about that, though. Between being thankful of the rest and wondering if anything else could be done without involving the formula. Maybe I should just stick with being thankful. :)

get well soon, pleeease!

2009-02-20T17:40:00.007+07:00

Jove has been sick for about a week now. Cough and cold. He had stayed at my mother's to prevent baby Kay catching the bug.

Then, Daddy got sick three days ago. So baby Kay and I moved to stay at my mother's.

Jovan has started to get better now after taking the medicine prescribed by doctor grandpa.

Yesterday, the two-month old baby Kay got the coughing and the sneezing as well! My heart is just broken looking at her gagging with phlegm and trying to wipe her runny nose after a sneeze. She has vomited milk four times in these two days.

The weather has been crazy with alternating hot sun and heavy rain in a day. We're on our way to recovery, or so I prayed.

learning or competing?

2009-02-18T00:50:00.000+07:00

Tulisan dibawah ini diambil dari Lifesigns : Intimacy, Fecundicity, and Ecstasy in Christian Perspective by Henri J.M. Nouwen.

"My own experience is limited to universities. One of the saddest aspect of the lives of many students is that they always feel pressured. The irony is that those who have the luxury of spending time reading the great books of our culture and exploring the intricate beauty of creation find themselves always fighting deadlines. Students complain about the number of pages they have to read or write, and anxiously wonder how they will finish their many assignments on time.

The word "school", which comes from "schola" (meaning: free time), reminds us that schools were originally meant to interrupt a busy existence and create some space to contemplate the mysteries of life. Today they have become the arena for a hectic race to accomplish as much as possible, and to acquire in a short period the necessary tools to survive the great battle of human life. Books written to be savored slowly are read hastily to fulfill a requirement, paintings made to be seen with a contemplative eye are taken in as part of a necessary art appreciation course, and music composed to be enjoyed at leisure is listened to in order to identify a period or style. Thus, colleges and universities meant to be places for quiet learning have become places of fierce competition, in which the rewards go to those who produce the most and the best."

Tulisan tersebut tidak ditulis dalam konteks homeschooling, tetapi sangat tepat mengekspresikan perasaanku ketika belajar di sekolah dulu. Sekolah menjadi tempat untuk mendapat setumpuk PR, membuat tugas, mengerjakan soal-soal ujian, dan berbagai kegiatan lain yang akan ditukar dengan kumpulan angka dalam buku rapor. Yang paling parah, kumpulan angka itu akan menentukan peringkatku diantara teman-teman sekelas. Tidak mau menjadi yang terbelakang otomatis menjadi alasan untuk belajar, terlebih ada iming-iming hadiah jika menjadi yang nomor satu. Apakah itu cara untuk melengkapi diriku dengan perlengkapan untuk hidup dalam masyarakat? Apakah hidup ini sebuah kompetisi?

Aku hanya berharap anak-anak dapat membaca buku, bermain, belajar, dan mengeksplorasi kehidupan sesuka hati mereka tanpa harus dipusingkan dengan nilai atau peringkat di kelas.

Belajar seharusnya menjadi hak mereka, bukan kewajiban.

Landak

2009-02-17T20:47:00.002+07:00

Jovan sangat suka dibacakan buku. Dari milis sekolah rumah, kami mendapatkan site Tumblebooks, animated picture books online. Dengan adanya site ini, Jovan bisa duduk manis di depan komputer untuk mendengarkan dan membaca buku sendiri (mamanya bisa kabur sejenak, hehe). Nah, beberapa hari yang lalu dia memilih buku Porcupining: A Prickly Love Story oleh Lisa Wheeler.

Selama ini saya pikir porcupine dan hedgehog adalah binatang yang sama, yaitu landak. Eh, di cerita itu, gambarnya kok beda?

Ternyata setelah saya check di Wikipedia, porcupine dan hedgehog adalah dua jenis binatang yang berbeda, bahkan tidak bersaudara. Malahan ada satu jenis binatang lagi yang mirip yaitu Echidna.

Dan ternyata, dalam Bahasa Indonesia, hedgehog dinamakan landak susu. Sementara yang disebut landak adalah porcupine.

Thank God for Google and Wikipedia!

*pic is taken from Wikipedia

full fun day

2009-02-07T01:15:00.002+07:00

Once in a while, I had a very productive day which enabled me to create some play things for Jove. Yesterday was one of such days.

We had fun playing the salt dough (1 cup salt, 2 cups flour, water as needed) on the sofa.

Then while Jove took his nap, I managed to make this felt story board. Have been planning to make this since forever, never started till yesterday.

I put this on the bed and let Jove played with it by himself. He was quiet for sometime... I was starting to feel happy that he liked what I've made. When I checked, he was busy stuffing those felt figures down the little space between the wall and the bed. Now some of them still lie down there since it was difficult to shift the bed.

Oh dear...

belajar mengatur waktu

2009-01-08T12:05:00.003+07:00

Dengan tambahan satu anak lagi, semakin banyak pekerjaan yang harus dilakukan padahal jumlah jam dalam sehari tetap sama. Aku selalu kewalahan dalam mengatur waktu, menyeimbangkan kewajiban mengurus rumah, bermain dengan anak-anak, hobby, dan aktivitas-aktivitas lain... Fuh!

Bagaimana supaya bisa lebih efektif ya?

early christmas present

2008-12-29T03:29:00.001+07:00

So, we had our present and currently still busy adjusting our new life with her.

Here I am in the wee hours of the morning, typing with my left hand while nursing the baby (who sleeps soundly during the day!). More posts when possible. :)

Wish you had a wonderful Christmas...

road to homeschooling

2008-11-16T16:41:00.007+07:00

Kami belum benar-benar resmi menyekolahkan Jovan di rumah (maksudnya belum secara resmi mengakuinya pada keluarga dan teman-teman), tapi merasa sepertinya sudah perlu membuat 'tempat' untuk menyimpan catatan perjalanan homeschooling ini. Jadilah blog yang satu ini.

Saat ini kami mungkin menganut sistem unschooling, karena belum membeli/mengikuti kurikulum apa-apa. Kami memilih homeschooling karena ingin memberikan pelajaran dengan kurikulum yang sesuai dengan minat dan bakat Jovan, sesuatu yang tidak didapat di sekolah dengan kurikulumnya yang seragam untuk semua anak.

Secara pribadi, saya suka dengan theory of multiple intelligences dari Howard Gardner. Berdasarkan pengamatan saya, Jovan memiliki kekuatan pada kecerdasan:

- Interpersonal
Jovan dapat berkomunikasi secara efektif dan mudah berempati pada orang lain. Dia juga sensitif terhadap perasaan lawan bicaranya.

- Verbal-Linguistic
Jovan dapat berbicara dan berkomunikasi dengan orang lain jauh sebelum dia belajar berjalan. Jovan mempunyai kemampuan melafalkan kata dengan benar hanya dengan sekali atau dua kali mendengarkan, dan dapat menggunakan imbuhan dengan benar. Dia dapat mengasosiasikan kata-kata dalam bahasa Inggris dan terjemahannya dalam bahasa Indonesia tanpa pengajaran khusus. Sekarang ini Jovan suka main sendiri dengan mobil-mobilan sambil berceloteh ria, ceritanya mobil-mobil dan patung mainan kecil saling berkomuniasi. Jovan juga dapat menghafalkan pantun/puisi singkat dalam bahasa Inggris, Indonesia, dan Mandarin. Setelah menonton Barney: Rhyme Time Rhythm beberapa kali, Jovan sudah hafal:

This is the house that Jack built

This is the malt,
That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the rat,
That ate the malt,
That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the cat,
That chased the rat,
That ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the dog,
That worried the cat,
That chased the rat,
That ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.

This is the cow with the crumpled horn,
That tossed the dog,
That worried the cat,
That chased the rat,
That ate the malt
That lay in the house that Jack built.

- Visual-Spatial
Jovan suka membuat jigsaw puzzle. Menggambar juga salah satu aktivitas favoritnya. Dulu Jovan bisa menghabiskan lebih dari tiga puluh menit untuk corat-coret di magnetic board-nya. Untuk anak umur 18 bulan, Jovan bisa duduk diam selama itu sambil serius mencorat-coret. Dari coretan yang ngga jelas, gambarnya mulai berevolusi menjadi bentuk mobil sederhana (garis lurus horisontal dengan dua lingkaran sebagai roda), dan suatu hari, Jovan bisa menggambar mobil! Setelah itu Jovan mulai bereksperimen menggambar kereta api, orang, rumah, rumput... biasanya setelah mendengarkan cerita atau menonton DVD. Dan baru minggu lalu Jovan mulai menggambar pengalamannya sendiri menaiki gajah dan unta di Taman Safari sepulangnya dia dari sana.

Untuk kecerdasan yang lain seperti Logical-Mathematical, Musical, Intrapersonal, dan Naturalistic, kami masih belum bisa merabanya. Tetapi sepertinya untuk kecerdasan Bodily-Kinesthetic Jovan tidak terlalu kuat karena dia memerlukan waktu yang lebih lama untuk belajar naik sepeda, lompat dengan dua kaki, dan aktivitas fisik lainnya.

Well, we will learn as we journey...

trip to taman safari

2008-11-11T12:26:00.001+07:00

Last Sunday, we went to Taman Safari. It has been our dream to bring Jove to see the animals and we were so excited when it finally came true with a blast! :)

Jove seemed to enjoy looking at all the animals and feeding them carrots from the car window. We were quite surprised that this little guy had the courage to feed small skinny carrots to those smelly big mouths! He surprised us more when he was willing to pose with a naughty little baby orangutan called Aming and touched the two-month old baby tiger.

Our trip was disturbed by a heavy downpour. We had to take turn walking from shelter to shelter with one umbrella that we brought. Grandpa, grandma, and Jove managed to have a fun ride in the cable car when the rain turned to drizzle. Then we went to feed the leftover carrots to the hungry elephants (they ate 200kg of grass per day, said the trainer). Jove, with his little hand was brave enough to put the carrots on the trunk.

Jove also managed to ride elephant and camel with his aunts, and a pony by himself, after the rain stopped. We went home tired, but happy and satisfied. Jove slept soundly on our way home.

the missing ears

2008-09-22T20:15:00.001+07:00

Lately, Jovan often "lost" his ears.

This morning, when I was doing something I couldn't leave, I noticed Jovan was plucking tissues out of the box. He plucked a sheet, threw it on the floor, plucked another one, threw it on the floor, on and on like that till a heap of tissues (about a quarter of the box) was piled next to his feet. I asked him nicely to stop doing that, and he kept doing what he was doing without even glancing at me. He did not hear my voice even when I have started shouting.

He only stopped when I picked him physically, put him to stand near the wall for time-out while I picked the tissues on the floor. Looking at him standing quietly with innocent face, I couldn't get angry for long...

But yeah, that and other similar incidents have made me scrambling to find out the best (and working) method to discipline him nicely.

So far... no luck yet. Any advice? :)

puzzles

2008-09-05T22:16:00.001+07:00

Hubby bought a Lightning McQueen 12-piece jigsaw puzzle for Jove a few months ago. He bought it just because Jove liked the picture so much. One day, Jove tried the puzzle and got hooked. Now he have about 7 puzzles and one puzzle book (with 5 puzzles inside) that he regularly do. Like a hobby!

For the 12-piece puzzles, he does not need any help. But for the 30-piece and 48-piece puzzle, we need to help him sort out the side pieces to be done first. After a few tries, usually he would start to remember the places.

Being a firstborn, Jove always surprise us with his interest. I googled about puzzle and children development afterwards, it turned out that puzzles aid children hand-eye coordination and the development of memory. Jove plays with his puzzles daily and just in three or four days he can usually do his puzzle without any help in the initial sorting. He even can place the middle pieces at their correct places out of his memory. It's really fun to see him do the puzzles. :)

the baby in the womb

2008-09-03T15:02:00.001+07:00

Jovan surprised me this morning. He showed me this picture:

I asked him what it was. He answered that it was his little baby sister in mama's tummy. The long lines flowing from mama's head was the long hair. Then the little figure at the right side was Jovan.

Naturally, I told my mom about that and the curious grandmother asked him to draw the little baby inside mama's tummy. And draw he did! :)

Oooh, and yes, we're having a baby girl this time. The ob-gyn finally confirmed it when we checked last monday. Daddy was estatic. Jovan is getting a sister.

coloring competition

2008-09-03T14:40:00.001+07:00

Our cluster in Alam Sutera, Kirana, always have a bazaar in August to celebrate Indonesia's independence day. This year, they had a coloring and drawing competitions for kids. We did not register Jovan to join because he was way too small for the competition. The youngest age range is 4-5 years old for coloring. But when we saw Jovan looked interested, we asked him whether he wanted to join. He said he wanted to! So we paid Rp. 15,000.- and Jovan took part in his first competition.

He did his piece seriously. At first, I thought he would draw a car or something on that page because he never colored any picture before. He usually just drew and colored his own drawing. But apparently, he understood that he only had to color the picture.

He sat there for, well, maybe 10 or 15 minutes, until he was satisfied with his work.

Then he just got up when he considered his artwork done.

I think the dad, the uncle, the grandpa, or the aunts who came by once in a while took part in telling him to color the cloud blue or to use red for the flag. But, at least everything was done by him. Nobody expected him to win but we did enjoy one of the best moments. :)

inspirations

2008-08-31T04:57:00.001+07:00

Some people have always been a source for inspiration for me. One of them is my dear cousin, Cik Ing, who just started an inspiring blog to share her family's life stories. I've always looked up to her since as long as I can remember. I spent quite a lot of my childhood being with her (and her wonderful brother and lil sis) in their lovely home full of books and fun activities. :)

She just sent me an article about finding (and living) your heart's calling. Something I've been struggling with for years. Maybe I should share that in a separate post. For now, I'm just going to let what I've read sink in to add some courage to my soul.

On a lighter note, today we planned to visit the ob-gyn again! Yeah! We've actually planned not to have it once a month (but maybe once every one-and-a-half month, or two months, since I did not have any problem with the first pregnancy), but we usually could not wait to see the lil baby. Haha. The little one has been kicking pretty strongly these past few days, and every kick always brought a smile to my heart.

a cat, a panda, and a colorful drawing

2008-08-29T15:13:00.001+07:00

This was Jovan's first attempt to draw a cat.

Then this. My sister thought that the eyes looked like Powerpuff girls' eyes.

Po the Panda, from Kungfu Panda. The panda picture was drawn by him (no addition or reduction or anything from me or anyone else). I was the one who write 'po'.

After months drawing with only one color, Jovan finally started to use more colors.

doc hudson

2008-08-26T14:46:00.001+07:00

Jove was addicted to Pixar's CARS. He used to watch the movie everyday (could be twice a day if I let him). Thankfully, the addiction wore off (after a month or so, and I've almost memorized the dialogue). But he is still very fond of one car, Doc Hudson. I don't understand why it is just this one car, but maybe it's about taste.

He often asked me to play whatever short animation of Doc Hudson that I could find in You Tube. Or to find its pictures online. Through Google, I found out a lot about the real Hudson Hornet and its pictures. Jove loved to browse through the pictures. He would just sit there, on my lap, in front of the notebook, and watch the slide show of Hudson Hornets that I found in the internet.

One day, we were in a toy store when he noticed a Hornet among other Hot Wheels cars on the shelves. He asked for it, and we bought it for him. More than a month has passed since then and there has not been a day when he did not play with his beloved Hornet. He called it Doc Hudson and brought it with him almost everywhere. He would ask us to put the car in the fridge/freezer when it became too warm on his hand. Papa and Ama have bought him two other new Hot Wheels car since then, but he liked them less. Doc Hudson is still the best.

I have to say that this fascination amazed me a lot. Even his father do not share as much enthusiasm as him regarding cars. So, where does it come from?

drawing with jovan

2008-08-22T17:17:00.001+07:00

Jove still loves to draw. Drawing on his magnetic doodle board is an activity that he ALWAYS does every single day. Lately, he would draw something while he talked, telling some sort of story that went with the drawing he did. Mumble, mumble, draw, draw, then erase. Mumble, draw, draw, then erase. I just need to be fast enough to grab the camera whenever he draw something interesting. I missed quite a lot of interesting drawings that way, but these are some of them. :)

His favorite is drawing a car, with a bear and a deer in front of it (like in the movie Open Season).

A car with two suns.

Train.

A car under the cute sun.

He always draw train with lots of straight lines on top of it. His fascination with trains started when he watched Thomas and going to Bandung by train last July.

One of the rare moment. I actually would like to let him play more with the watercolors if he was not too naughty (he likes to pour the water in the container on purpose!). Natural mess is fine with me, but it takes a lot more cleaning (and patience) if he is making the mess deliberately!

trimming

2008-08-18T15:50:00.001+07:00

The first time Jovan sat on his own, usually he sat on my lap.

The whole thing took about 20 minutes. He went cranky once the trimmed hair fell on his neck and got itchy. So the barber-lady had to stop and wait for me to apply baby powder on his body and talk him into sitting down nicely again to finish the cut.

Sigh! My baby is growing up so fast...

fourth prenatal check-up

2008-07-27T11:41:00.001+07:00

We visited our ob-gyn this morning for another check-up. My blood pressure was normal and everything was good. We spent about an hour inside the office, mainly trying to find the child's gender (the baby got his/her thighs together, difficult to see the in-between), and chatting with the friendly doc. We are still guessing the gender, but that's not a problem at all. :)

Jovan is still kissing and hugging the bulging tummy about ten times a day. He mostly slept hugging the tummy now, most of the time asking me to expose the tummy. Sweet brother, uh?

My sister said that I wasn't being fair with this baby. In my first pregnancy with Jovan, I would take pictures of my tummy monthly, then wrote down my weight and sometimes the circumference of the tummy. But with this one, I never wrote down my weight and hardly had time to take a proper picture. Hehehe... But during previous pregnancy, my sisters loved to touch the tummy whenever I visited them. Now? Hardly. They're busy chasing Jove around the house. :) So it's really a good thing that Jovan always remembers to kiss and cuddle the little baby.

two!

2008-06-26T16:03:00.001+07:00

Dear Jovan,

Happy second birthday, Son! I could not believe that two years have gone by since that miraculous moment when you were born.

You woke up counting one to ten while slowly smiling and opening up your eyes yesterday. Then you asked for a strawberry milk. You are a wonderful talker, even I am amazed and often confused on when did you learn to say those sentences. It seemed so easy for you to repeat new words and understand their meanings. Jove dear, our days have become so much more colorful with your jokes, stories, and remarks.

At two, you are still very much fascinated by vehicles. When we passed a cool red Ford pick-up, your eyes widened and you asked me to go nearer to the car. A glimpse to the newspaper that I was reading and you pointed to the small little picture of a car advertisement. You cried with glee and exclaimed that you like it ("Qiang-qiang seneng!!!") when you opened a set of vehicle board books. You spend minutes poring over the pictures of trucks, tractors, helicopter, racing cars, and others. Even in the plant shop that we visited yesterday, you pointed out the wheel in the small wagon that we saw. Having no brother and close nephew, I am truly fascinated by your fascination! :)

Every single day, since you knew that I was pregnant, you never missed cuddling my bulging tummy to greet your baby brother/sister. All of us are amazed by this gesture. You'll be a sweet brother, everyone says.

But for a week or so, you've been very stubborn in doing things your way and you had your tantrums when we did not comply. Gosh! Are you entering your terrible two phase, darling boy? Let's hope the phase will not last long. :)

I don't know what the future will bring to both of us. But I am sure that you will continue to bring your joy and your love to your family and to everyone you're in touch with.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Mama

one saturday morning

2008-06-07T05:37:00.001+07:00

It's a peaceful Saturday morning now. Fresh morning breeze is blowing in from the window. I'm drinking a warm glass of chocolate milk, and life is good.

When I opened my mailbox just now, I received the usual weekly newsletter 'My Pregnancy This Week' from Babycenter. I did not realize that I have entered my second trimester, the golden age of pregnancy! :) It's week 13 now. Time really goes faster for this second pregnancy. I mean, last time, I felt like being in the first trimester forever.

So, that goes the official announcement for this blog. We are currently pregnant and the baby is due in mid December. Would be a busy Christmas for all of us here.

Meanwhile, Jove has already talk in long complete sentences, gives his opinion about things, can describe things, and his drawing improves by a lot (can draw faces now in addition to cars). It is really a blessing to have a child and to be able to watch him grow. I always had difficulties in writing about his growth now, because there are too many things to write and I just don't have the patience to note down those things. Furthermore, it is even more difficult to write down the mixture of feelings watching him grow. Happy, proud, but there is a tinge of sadness too. Most of the time, the little sadness came when he could do something new and needed my assistance less. Ah, I'm just being too sentimental now. :P

Wishing you a blessed weekend. :)

the story of stuff

2008-05-29T09:46:00.001+07:00

It has been sometime since I last posted. Today, I just watched The Story of Stuff with Annie Leonard, and would like to share that.

cycling

2008-03-09T04:46:00.001+07:00

We have used this for a few months as a replacement for our morning walks.

The red plastic kid-seat was my youngest sister's. Mom used it to carry her around while doing errands (going to the wet market, picking my other sister from school, etc). Dad found it in the store room, cleaned it, repainted the rusty iron, and there! Jovan has a new hobby! Hehe...

When Jove sits on the red seat, his hair will touch my nose. I could smell his hair, kiss his head, and whisper to him the names of the objects that we see.

In the mornings, when the warm rays of the sun touch our backs, we would ride around the blocks. The cool breeze, the morning activities of the neighbors, the wet road, the swaying trees, and Jove's delight. I enjoy every second of our cycling together!

Nowadays, Jove always wants to wear his blue cap while cycling to shade his eyes from the sun (so I could no longer smell his hair). And now, it is he who says everything that we see. The black car that passes, the big dog, the butterfly, the location of our Sunday school, our new home, the trucks, and all other things.

He's changing and growing all the time. Sometimes it's difficult for me to keep up! :)

chrysiridia rhipheus

2008-03-05T23:39:00.001+07:00

Beautiful sunset moth. I actually gasped in awe when I saw the pictures.

The caterpillar and The Very Hungry Caterpillar brought me to Eric Carle's website, and one of the FAQ questions about chrysalis and cocoon prompted me to do a bit of research on butterflies and moths in Wikipedia.

Internet is really cool.

Oh, and I stumbled upon Encyclopedia of Life a few days ago. I've started to bookmarks these kind of sites for the future when inquisitive Jove start asking me questions. Err, but after another thought, why should I bother when I can ask him to google for answers himself?

random thoughts

2008-03-05T23:33:00.001+07:00

I surfed a lot when I have things to do or deadlines to meet. Horrible procrastinator indeed. I did that especially when I dread to do the must-do-things.

Anyway, I'm reading a lot on homeschooling right now. I feel at home with the concept and I think it will be fun and enriching.

Hmm...

caterpillar on the flower

2008-03-05T16:26:00.001+07:00

We found this caterpillar two days ago. It was sitting on a leaf in my neighbor's pink flower plant when I took Jove out to breathe in some fresh air.

I took a picture of it this morning. We visited the caterpillar often during the two days. But this afternoon, it was missing. This evening, when we waited for daddy outside, Jove said that the caterpillar was sleeping being cradled by his mother. I was quite disappointed when I found it gone. I was hoping to see its metamorphosis into a beautiful butterfly.

Thanks to you, La, for The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Jove asked me to read the book to him after each visit to the caterpillar.

draw cars!

2008-03-05T10:00:00.001+07:00

Jove is always asking us to draw cars and trucks and motorcycle and tractors (and the like) since he could talk. At first, we wasted lots of papers for the drawings and his scribblings. Then when the pen/marker/crayons started roaming to the sofa and the floor, grandpa bought him the magnetic doodle.

Jovan loves to spend a lot of time drawing. At first, just squiggly lines, wriggly circle, well... abstract drawing. Then one day, he started practicing to draw something, like a car. He would start with a horizontal line, then he would add two circles... like the base of the car drawn from the side. After a few days doing that, well, maybe a week or so, he dramatically changed!

One fine day, he surprised us all by really drawing a car!

He'll make a big squarish circle (most of the times in the shape of a van), add two wheels (or more), and a window. If he says it is a taxi, he will add something at the top (for the taxi sign), if it is a jeep, he'll add the extra wheel at the back. Trucks will be bigger with more wheels. Racing cars will be short and flat. It is amazing to watch him draw! :)

Children. Is. Amazing.

busy life

2008-03-04T23:24:00.001+07:00

Whew.

I heard something nice from the radio yesterday.

God is fair. Everyone is granted twenty four hours a day. No more. No less.

If some people can be so efficient in managing their time, I should be able to learn to do so.

aspiration

2008-02-11T17:10:00.001+07:00

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Jove: A penguin.

That's my one-year-seven-month-and-two-weeks-old boy.

Jakarta is flooded, again

2008-02-02T11:41:00.001+07:00

My husband and sister went back past midnight yesterday due to the flood. The flood caused traffic jam everywhere, . My in-laws' house was flooded too.

Oh well...

goodbye grandma

2008-02-01T17:50:00.001+07:00

I was cleaning up in the new house with hubby and Jove when my youngest sister called hubby's handphone. She was crying and mumbling something about grandma. I took Jove and cycled as fast as I could.

Grandma died that Sunday morning, 20th January 2008.

My parents flew two hours after that. My two sisters followed in the evening. They made it in time to see her before they closed the casket. My sister said that grandma looked peaceful, just like sleeping.

God has called her and end her suffering. Now she is happy, healed, and whole again. But she will be forever missed by her six daughters, six son-in-laws, twenty grand-children (and five grandchildren-in-law -is there such a word?-), six great-grand-children, and a husband.

Hubby, Jove, second sister, father (who flew back to Jakarta on Monday) and I joined the big family on Wednesday morning. It felt weird to head straight to the mortuary from the airport. We met my two sisters, mother, two aunts, and the nurse who took care of grandma there.

The place was quite new, clean, and nice. Grandma's photo smiled at me in front of her casket. She has gone to a better place, I kept telling myself. I should be happy for her. She has lived her 83 years on Earth fully. She has given birth to six wonderful daughter, watched them meet and marry the men of their dreams, hold the twenty grand-children, even attended five of the grand-children's wedding! I still remembered, in awe, when grandma attended my dear cousin's wedding. Wheelchair bound, sick and weak, but she was there for all of us. A selfless strong woman my grandma was.

The days that follow were spent with my dear aunts, uncles, and cousins for the cremation and placing of her ashes in the columbarium.

Thursday morning, we gathered in front of the crematorium. We prayed around her coffin. So many people came to the last service. Some old ladies from Salatiga, including my grandma's 95 year-old sister, sang a sweet song about her meeting with Jesus. It was a beautiful moment. Then the coffin was placed inside the furnace. It was time to pay our last respect. One cousin brought fresh red roses that each of us placed near her coffin. Grandma loved flowers, especially the red roses.

We watched when the fire was lighted. Soon, the furnace was ablaze with burning hot fire. Grandma frail, old, weak body was slowly reduced to ashes. She needed that body no more for she already has a new one up there.

Saturday morning, we gathered there again to collect her ashes. The person-in-charge gave us the ashes inside a cloth pouch doubled with clear plastic together with two prostheses. We were shocked when we hold the prostheses (once planted inside her hips) they were so heavy! Maybe more than a kilogram in total. I could not imagine that all these time, grandma carried those heavy stuff around with her!

We carried her ashes to the columbarium grandpa has built for the family. The big family gathered there for lunch. I wondered if grandma joined us in the gathering, looking at the many people who loved and respected her. Or she could still be dancing with Jesus on her two feet in heaven!

Goodbye for now, Emak sayang. One day when we meet again, I hope I can say that I've lived my life at least as full as yours.

on the road

2007-12-31T02:52:00.001+07:00

We're on our way back from Semarang now. Somewhere in Tegal. Jove just moved to the other car to be with grandma, so I'm free to try this.

busted!

2007-11-05T21:16:00.001+07:00

on having children

2007-10-22T17:13:00.001+07:00

I currently re-read Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom. If you have not read it, go and find one. It's a good book about life's greatest lesson. Anyway, I stumbled upon this today:

"Whenever people ask me about having children or not having children, I never tell them what to do," Morrie said now, looking at a photo of his oldest son. "I simply say, 'There is no experience like having children.' That's all. There is no substitute for it. You cannot do it with a friend. You cannot do it with a lover. If you want the experience of having complete responsibility for another human being, and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way, then you should have children."

From chapter: The Fifth Tuesday - We Talk About Family

The first time I read this book was long ago in my university days, I was not a parent yet. Now that I am one, I am touched in a new way by this chapter on family.

Being parent is indeed a special experience. Morrie put it fittingly in those lines.

on children

2007-10-19T23:58:00.001+07:00

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

- From The Prophet by Khalil Gibran

learning from a child

2007-10-07T23:06:00.001+07:00

It's about three thirty in the afternoon. I brought Jove out to play on the grass in front of the house. We spent a considerably long time examining the rough texture of the grass (a little bit dry because of the hot afternoon sun, I supposed) and the warmth of the stone slabs.

I followed Jove's lead on what to do. We walked on the ticklish grass barefooted, we hopped from stone to stone, we sat down and pulled out some weeds that grew among the grasses, Jove pulled some grasses. The sky was blue, some birds flew above us. The soft breeze caressed our hair lovingly. I could be laying down in a field of green grass with colorful wild flowers and feel as happy as I was this afternoon.

One secret of happiness that I learned from Jovan is as simple as living every second of your day to the fullest. Well, I don't feel happy all the time and I may not remember this secret at all times, but for half an hour this afternoon, I was truly happy.

I did have some thoughts on what the neighbors would say looking at a mother and her son looking intently at grasses and stones while smiling cheerfully at each other. Err, well, that's another secret of happiness that the children possessed: do not care about what other people will think of you. Just enjoy what you do (and what you have) at the moment and be happy. That works for me this afternoon.

so it has been two years

2007-10-01T23:43:00.001+07:00

With Jove around, time flies faster. I did not realize it has been two years since we got married.

The first year was a very bumpy ride with lots of uncertainty coupled with anxiety of having a baby. We knew someone else has joined us in the journey on the twenty second day of our marriage. Big surprise indeed! Thus, we had a three-month old Jovan on the day of our first anniversary.

The second year was not that bumpy and we had lots of fun watching Jovan grew (and playing with him too). God has blessed us with so many things that we did not even think we deserved. We secured our first brick and mortar home today. It's a divine intervention that the date of the certificate fell on the same day as our second anniversary. A best friend of mine always reminded me of this verse whenever I felt insecure for the future: God makes all things beautiful in His time.

Indeed He does.

babble bubble

2007-09-16T23:54:00.001+07:00

(u)dah, mama, papa, bapak, mbak, bu, mau, yuk, nggak, ya, hloo, no, car, truck, bus, tank, (ru)mah, (i)tu, (i)ni, (thank) you, ama, xie xie, (helicop)ter, (nya)muk, kena, enak, suka, (can)tik, (je)lek, star, bubble, (wa)ter, main, down, up, fly, sky, buah, nenen, (sam)pah, hiiii, idih, aduh, (sa)kit, (ko)dok, bebek, duck, cow, lucu, buka, pok pok (horse), mamam

I might have missed several words, but those words are roughly his vocabulary now. He learned to say 80% of them in the last two months. He really shows God's amazing work in him. I am constantly amazed at the rate he learned things, the way he mastered the language, remember songs, do new things... Whew. Being a parent is the greatest blessing ever... and with a great blessing comes a great responsibility.

After dinner tonight, Jove saw kueh ku (the red turtle-like Chinese snack, made of ketan, with green bean filling) on the table and said he wanted it. He took the package, gave it to me, asked me to open it, then he sat down politely on the floor. After he finished, he actually got up, took the plastic package (now empty), toddled to the rubbish bin, and put the thing nicely into the bin without any prompting from anyone. I just watched him doing that and filled with pride, joy, and gratitude.

After that, I went around the house announcing the great deed he just did to everyone. Haha.

on his own

2007-08-28T18:25:00.001+07:00

Jovan stopped walking on his own after he fell down a few weeks ago. Before that, he managed to walk a few steps forward for two days. He finally had the courage to walk on his own again on August 21st, in the afternoon. That day, he walked in straight lines for a few metres. The next day, he managed to turn right and left and even turn around without toppling down. I guess he really waited until he was sure he could walk before trying walking on his own.

Today he has covered the whole house and the front yard. He loves to walk to the water dispenser when he thinks that nobody notice (of course somebody is always keeping an eye on him). He likes to stand on the base of the standing fan, holding on the pole, and switching the fan on and off. He has tried to open almost every cupboard that he could get his hand into, climbing up and down the chair, and running out from the house when the front door was open. We got busier with him around now.

Last Friday, Jove asked for 'more' when he has finished his bowl of rice. And today is the first time he asked for his dinner! Maybe he was hungry and he asked me to feed him. Usually he asked for breastmilk, so it was a nice surprise that he could do that.

Goodness, I'm not really prepared for all these new developments of him. They happened in such a short time. Every single day he learned some new things or some new words and most of the times that happened my heart bursts with joy. :)

The picture above was taken this afternoon when we let him play on the grass again. Grandma put the flowers and asked him to pray, my sister took the picture. Parents should be thankful for digital cameras. I could not imagine how much money we would spent on films to take perfect (not blurred) pictures of the constantly-moving kid.

another trip to semarang

2007-08-20T15:03:00.001+07:00

We had another trip to Semarang and Salatiga by bus. Jove was pretty cranky on the bus this time because he had a mild cold. In fact, the whole family except dad (two grandparents, three aunts, Jove, and me) caught the bug a few days before the trip. After the trip, everybody's health got worse, except Jovan (thankfully).

We departed on Thursday night, shortly after ten. I spent the whole night trying to sleep while cradling Jovan to sleep. He woke up several times and night and continuously asked for breastmilk. Both of my milk-tanks went dry by the time we reached Semarang at about one on Friday afternoon.

Jove was excited looking at his great-grandfather on the bus ride to Salatiga from Semarang and he got busy playing with great-grandpa's cane. Grandma was sleeping when we arrived, and when she woke up a few hours later, Jovan was sleeping. It happened the two times we went there, so Jovan didn't get to meet his great-grandma properly.

Saturday evening, hubby, Jovan, and I accompanied my grandpa back to Semarang in his car (with a driver). On the way, I thought a lot about my dear cousin, Rika, and whole day we've spent together in May. Miss you a lot, cousin dear! This trip will be more fun with you around. :)

Sunday morning, we headed back to Jakarta. Grandpa did not allow us to go back and made us stay for another two hours. We stopped to have lunch at a restaurant near the sea in Indramayu and look at how happy Jovan was! He was fascinated with the strong sea breeze and the waves. He kept on laughing while holding his hands up, trying to catch the wind. The water was brown and muddy and the scenery was not beautiful at all, but all he saw was the blue blue sky, the fresh breeze, and the sunny Saturday afternoon.

Grandpa introduced Jovan to the wet sand. It was not white nor clean, but Jovan and grandpa ignored those facts. He enjoyed the new texture of the wet sand and he was quite amazed when the waves licked his toes.

Children. Let them remind us of the simple beauty of this earth.

boys will be boys

2007-08-12T21:52:00.001+07:00

Jove's pose when watching soccer or car race on TV. He can sit still and watch quietly for several minutes longer than if he watches or does anything else.

His favorite toys are cars, trucks, buldozers, helicopters, airplanes, ... you get the idea. And he has shown this keen interest on those things since he was about six months old! By twelve months, before he could walk, he could differentiate car, truck, and bus on the road. He'll say tar, tak, and bas (all rhymes with car) while pointing at correctly said vehicle.

I've read in some books that a child liked his/her gender related toys (boys like cars, and girls like dolls) just because the parents exposed him/her to those toys more. But I don't agree. I did gave Jovan some of my old dolls to play, showed him flowers and other girly things, but he didn't seem to be interested.

play grass

2007-08-12T17:48:00.001+07:00

Grandpa put Jovan on the green grass one Saturday afternoon. Jove loves it! He would touch the grass, the dirts of the earth, and he would not be picked up by anyone.

zombie day

2007-08-09T14:09:00.001+07:00

I didn't sleep a wink last night. Getting excited doing things for the new project and suddenly the dawn has come before I realized it. And as you can guess, I was half dead at half past seven in the morning when Jove woke up.

By the kindness of my sister and her boyfriend, I could catch a few hours of sleep in the afternoon. And the highlight of the day came after that. I got a call from a dear old friend in Melbourne! (Miss you heaps too, Fel.) She is a talented jewellery designer and you can check her design in her online shop, Flou.

unspoken love

2007-08-01T08:19:00.001+07:00

I uploaded the pictures from last May's trip to Singapore, Semarang and Salatiga in the web albums (link at the sidebar).

A few weeks after that trip, I found out something that made my eyes watery from my mom and sisters.

Whenever we stayed in our grandparents' house in Semarang, my father, husband, son, and I usually slept in the guest's room (which was my childhood bedroom). Mom and my two sisters would be sleeping with grandma, and my youngest sister will sleep in a spare bed in grandpa's room. Grandpa sleeps in the room connected to grandma's room. They have slept in separate rooms for about 10 years, I guess.

Anyway, grandpa is a stern person and his relationship with grandma was not romantic or sweet... in short, I could not see them as a couple that could fall in love and got married in the first place. At one time, I knew that grandpa and grandma stopped talking to each other for some months (or maybe years).

And one day while my mom, sisters, and I were chatting about them, I found out that every night after everyone was asleep, grandpa would walk over to grandma's room to check on everybody. He would go to each bed and straighten the blanket, check the airconditioning, then went back to sleep.

Now that my grandma stays in another town, mom wondered how grandpa must have felt when he woke up in the middle of the night and checked the other room.

But I thanked God I had the chance to know this sweet habit of him, checking on grandma every night. That's how grandpa expressed his love.

Miss them so much. Hope we can have another trip there in the middle of this month.

as he walks

2007-07-30T14:55:00.001+07:00

Jovan started to walk on his own yesterday. He is pretty careful in his learning to walk. Mom said that all of her four daughters (me and my sisters) were daring enough to walk/run from one point to another when we were still unable to walk properly. Jove actually took his sweet time to master his steps and refused to practice walking on his own previously.

Yesterday night, at my in-law's, I witnessed my little cherub walking into the room, all on his own, from the door where his father was standing. With a wide, big, cheerful smile on his face, he toddled into my embrace, on his own, not holding on anything or anyone.

Boy, I couldn't even describe how my feelings were at that point. Happy, excited, proud, yet I felt some sort of fleeting sadness. Soon, he will let go of my hand (and refused to be held) when he walks and runs in this big big world.

Do you, mothers, feel the same?

one sunny sunday

2007-07-15T20:31:00.001+07:00

We were invited to swim in one aunt's condominium one Sunday morning. Jovan had a lot of fun with one great aunt, three aunts, one uncle, two cousins (and their two babysitters), daddy, mommy, cold clear water, bowls of spaghetti, slices of yummy bread, sweet ice cocktail, and a basketful of peanuts.

Actually posted on 31/07/07

ONE year old celebration

2007-07-01T20:44:00.001+07:00

If we were to have three sons... it would take ages to have a proper family picture. Hee hee. All of them just could not sit still.

Serpong, Tangerang - 1 July 2007

happy birthday Jovan

2007-06-26T02:52:00.001+07:00

I woke up at about 2 a.m. because of the mosquitos. Found (and killed) six in the room (Yikes!).

Exactly one year ago, I was being stitched while Jovan was kicking and crying a few meters away. Hubby was busy snapping pictures and admiring his new son. The first year seemed to pass faster than the first month. Jovan is a year old already!

I took the camera and snapped this pic.

After one year, I can only vaguely remember the labor pain, but I vividly remember the euphoric joy that little boy brought. We named him Jovan Octavio, roughly means a delightful abiding place of God. His initials would be J.O.Y. and that was what we would like him to bring constantly in his heart.

I feel honored to be trusted with a soul to tend, feel blessed to be given such a cheerful boy, and... well, my vocabulary is really limited to express what I feel but I'm sure you, mothers out there, know what I mean. I'm also excited imagining the years to come. :)

Meanwhile, I take it as an achievement that I can be a mom for a year and my son is still alive, kicking, healthy, and happy. Hehehe. :) I guess, as a friend said, the first birthday is more for the parents to celebrate their [successful] first year as parents. :)

P.S. For comparison, this was one year ago. Taken when I let my very sleepy hubby (who's going to work in a while) took a short nap on my hospital bed at about 5 a.m. It would be really nice if he were the one who actually gave birth, wouldn't it?

morning walk

2007-05-24T15:06:00.001+07:00

One of our morning ritual whenever we stayed in my parents' house (and the weather permits) is a walk together around the housing complex. Jove will either be in my arms, in the stroller, or like today, in his tricycle.

I love the warmth of the morning sun, the golden hues of the rays on the green leaves and grasses, the chirping of the birds, the cool morning air, and the excitement in Jove's face.

Thank God for the mornings.

we're back

2007-05-21T23:23:00.001+07:00

Long time no post. We went for a five-day visit to Singapore in the beginning of May and spent last long weekend on a bus trip to Semarang and Salatiga.

Will post about those two trips when I find the time. Meanwhile, for a quick update, Jove started clapping today.

still with cold

2007-04-24T00:24:00.001+07:00

Boo hoo. Jove still suffer from cold and no sign of getting better. He's still cheerful, playful, and active as usual... but his nose is often blocked when he sleeps. We are hoping (and praying) hard that he will be fully recovered this week as we will fly to Singapore next week.

Hubby is currently on a business trip to China and I stayed with mom and sisters. Jove loves it here, being adored by so many women everyday. Hee hee.

sweet recovery

2007-04-12T16:18:00.001+07:00

Three of us are just recovered from cold. Yay.

Husband and I had cold since Good Friday. The packed weekend made us worse and little Jove caught the bug on Tuesday. Thanks to his good immune system, his cold was mild and he was recovered on Wednesday night. But these two days and nights have been tough for us. Jove is also teething at the moment (I suspected major teething involving more than two teeth), and the cold made him uncomfortable sleeping. So he woke up often during the night and twice he cried loudly for five minutes, both of us tried everything to calm him to no avail. During the day, he wouldn't sleep lying down, even after being bribed with yummy breastmilk. He only slept in the sling with me singing and swaying around. Even after he was fast asleep in the sling, he would wake up if I put him down. *sigh* I finally gave in and let him sleep as much as he wanted in the sling while I did my stuff.

Jove is also extremely clingy when he is teething. I'm looking forward for brighter tomorrow...

nine month development

2007-04-11T08:06:00.001+07:00

Jove changed so fast these past two weeks. He managed to sit by himself one or two days before he turned nine months, now he's already an expert. Pulling himself up to standing position and crawling are also his expertise now. I can not let him out of sight in his awake moments. He wants to go everywhere and touch everything.

Now he looks and pays more attention to the direction or object I point at. He is fascinated by animals, especially fish. He can tell us if he want something by moving his whole body towards the thing and saying uh-uh-uh... and crying loudly if we move away from the wanted thing. He loves to open the freezer and touch the cold ice inside it. He likes to walk in the baby walker and play with the tricycle. The only time he wants to stay still in his stroller is when we walk him outdoor.

He has three teeth now. Two front lower teeth and one front upper tooth. The other one of the front upper teeth is coming out, two weeks after its twin. My mom said the two usually came out together. I've noticed that the upper gum at the sides of the front teeth is swollen, maybe some major teething is coming. The lil guy is usually cranky in his teething period, my cousin said it could be due to the size of his teeth, which is big.

Umm, what else? Oh, it's somehow difficult for him to fall asleep nowadays. A few months ago, I could plop him on the bed with a bolster and a pacifier and he would sleep. As easy as that. Now, he wants to be breastfed or rocked in the sling to sleep. It takes hours too to make him sleep at night. *sigh*

About two weeks ago, I noticed that he covered his face with a blanket. I said peek-a-BOO! He pulled the blanket off his face and smiled. Since then, he enjoys playing peek-a-boo with anyone. Nice surprise for all of us. :)

Happy Easter

2007-04-10T07:05:00.001+07:00

Husband and I are having cold throughout the Easter weekend (until now). After successfully deflecting the cold virus for the last few days, Jove is beginning to experience blocked nose this morning. I hope he would not get a full blown cold like us. I read somewhere that breastfed babies have a high immune system, even if they catch cold, they will have a mild one. Let's just hope so.

This Easter, I understand slightly more about the Love that made Him died on the cross. Being a mother has taught me a lot about sacrificing oneself for love. Started with the pregnancy, my freedom was diminishing with the increasing tummy size. Then there was always the labor pain and the sleepless nights that follows. Myself does not come first anymore, now Jove is always on top of my priority list. This process of having and loving my son has made me realise the importance of sacrifice in loving.

Mother Teresa said 'give till it hurts'. If we give something that does not have any value for us, it wouldn't hurt. It would even be easy. The act of loving requires us to give something valuable for us, something that needs some effort to be given.

I wonder a lot of times why God created human in such a way that our human nature made it difficult for us to follow His teachings. We are selfish and He calls us to be selfless. We want to be rich yet He says blessed are the poor. We hate our enemies but He demands us to love them.

Maybe this has something to do with loving Him. Going against our human nature is difficult, maybe it could be a form of sacrifice to show our love.

Happy Easter!

toddle toddle toddle

2007-04-03T12:18:00.001+07:00

Aaah, finally finding time to write again! This last week has been hectic. Jove and the parents are entering a new phase as he manages to scoot around the bed easily, grab things, and stand up on his own (while holding on something). I have to watch him really close now. Within the week he has bumped his head hard against the furniture twice, cried hard, and had a swollen bump near his left eyebrow for two days. I, of course, got a long scolding from his grandmother.

Anyway, we went for his measles vaccination last week. The pediatrician announced him to be healthy. Thank God, that's what matter the most. :) He is 9.9kg now. Actually we expected him to exceed 10kg as he was 9.5kg three months ago on his six-month check up. But the pediatrician said that the increase was normal at this age, we would not want him to be a giant, would we?

Jove's nap schedule is also changing now. He is able to stay awake longer and requires only two naps a day, usually he needed three. Still very difficult to fall asleep at night, though. The father has tried to tire him phisically when he came home from work and I've tried to do boring things nearing his bedtime to no avail. After a few minutes latching sleepily on the breast, he would wake up and roam the bed, play with this and that, stand up, then get cranky. I would latch him to the breast again, pat him, and hoping for him to sleep, only to have him wake up and repeat the routine for two or three more times before finally fall asleep.

I could not believe only nine months have passed since I gave birth, Jovan seemed to grow so fast from tiny newborn to chubby baby to active roaming child. Yet I feel that this nine months have passed so swiftly I haven't had time to really sit down and enjoy all the moments.

I'm full of excitement right now, thinking that in a few months time my baby will start walking and talking and I would spend my waking moments chasing him and answering his questions... uh oh... will I have the energy to do all that?

Being a mom is opening your life to paradoxical milestones. Something that excites you can also be something that you dread. You can be happy and sad at the same time. Every milestone that your child achieves will feel your heart with pride and anguish. You're getting nearer to your goal of raising your child to be a person, yet that would mean you're getting nearer to the time your child moves out from your home.

...

Oops, I think I've been too sentimental writing all this. Ha ha. Come on, Jovan is only 9 months old and I'm thinking of him moving out of the house?

Blame it on the mommy hormones.

blue blue sky

2007-04-01T11:58:00.001+07:00

Glorious Sunday morning! The three of us went for a morning walk and enjoyed it immensely.

So the disciples went and did as Jesus had told them. They brought the donkey and the colt, then they laid their cloaks on their backs and he took his seat on them. Great crowds of people spread their cloaks on the road while others were cutting branches from the trees and spreading them in his path. The crowds who went in front of him and those who followed were all shouting:

Hosanna to the son of David!
Blessed is he who is coming in the name of the Lord!
Hosanna in the highest heavens!

Matt. 21:6-9

jovan - 9 months

2007-03-26T21:02:00.001+07:00

Jove grew so much hair in the last month.

I can even style his hair.

Afro. :)

Okay, this was my attempt to see Jove with hair. Ha ha.

Anyway, hubby smsed me in the morning, "Today Jove is 1.5 years old." I replied that he made a mistake in typing.

Hubby said that Jove has been with us for 1.5 years. 9 months in the womb, 9 months outside.

Definitely the best 1.5 years in our life.

mama, mama, mama

2007-03-16T00:41:00.001+07:00

He had said it pretty often in these three days as an attempt to call for help.

:D

in sickness and in health

2007-03-09T23:52:00.001+07:00

I spent the whole day with my in-laws today and leaving Jove with mom. Dad-in-law had a stent procedure this afternoon. I kept mom-in-law company while he was inside the angioplasty room.

Three of us spent the day chatting in the ICCU (Intensive Cardiac Care Unit), something I've never done before. I mean, this time it was only me with them, no one else around. All of their children and the only son-in-law were working, I was the only person not working. It was good being with them. I got to know a lot of interesting stories from their youth, especially their love story.

I brought a thermos with ice packs and a bottle for pumping. Easily granted permission to pump in one of the unused obsevation room. I used marmet technique for manual expression. No hassle of bringing pump. :)

When dad was brought into the angioplasty room, mom and I waited (and prayed) in the waiting room. Everything was going on great. We were called to watched the video of the procedure and listened the explanation from the doctor. Of course, dad has to watch his diet more strictly now, but he can continue his daily activities as usual.

And so does hubby. Chubby hubby was ordered to check his cholesterol level first thing in the morning tomorrow.

When I got home, Jove cried and asked for feeding straightaway. He latched for hours. A payback for the missed feedings, I guess.

another teething

2007-03-09T23:44:00.001+07:00

Jove has been restless for two days now. Very difficult to get him to sleep and he started biting me while feeding again. I suspect that the upper front teeth are coming out. Poor baby.

on death

2007-03-01T11:59:00.001+07:00

I received a call from an old friend of mine yesterday. Her mother had died, she told me, crying.

She is my primary school friend and we used to go to each other house. Our friendship deepened in junior high then we parted. We went to different senior high school, then to different countries. We met again when she moved back to Indonesia. I brought my husband and my baby in the womb visiting a pretty, smart, and confident young woman. We met her mom too. Her mom was as pretty as I always remembered her, but she looked frail. Cancer has eaten up her body.

I met them again a month after my baby was born. My friend visited me twice. Then I didn't hear anything from her again till yesterday. Her mother has died the day before and was buried in the morning. She said she was relieved that her mom was now free of pain and suffering, but she still found it hard to accept the loss.

Death always hit the ones left behind. We are left with one empty gaping hole in our lives... Our only comfort is that God has a better place and that we will be united with the person again one day.

Meanwhile, I can only pray that my friend will have enough strength to accept the hard reality. God bless her.

glorious morning

2007-03-01T09:09:00.001+07:00

The cool wind was blowing hard this morning. The sun shone brightly and spread its golden ray all over the blue blue sky. Glorious indeed. I took Jove for a nice walk.

Thank God for the morning.

Mt 7:7-12

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Ask and it will be given to you;
seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.

For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds;
and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

Which one of you would hand his son a stone
when he asked for a loaf of bread,
or a snake when he asked for a fish?

If you then, who are wicked,
know how to give good gifts to your children,
how much more will your heavenly Father give good things
to those who ask him.

“Do to others whatever you would have them do to you.
This is the law and the prophets.”

eight months

2007-02-28T14:48:00.001+07:00

I did not realized that two days ago, Jove turned 8 months old. Only eight months have passed since he came out, yet I feel I've loved him forever.

He has two lower teeth, a sweet sweet smile, and super loud cry the instant he wants something. He is more of a toddler than a baby now.

His crib has been turned into a playpen now. Looking at him sitting inside it, playing by himself, made me feel somewhat happy and also sad. Hmm, must get used to this mommy feeling and just be grateful for this wonderful miracle God has planted in my care.

prayer

2007-02-27T14:27:00.001+07:00

Why, O Lord, is it so hard for me
to keep my heart directed toward you?
Why does my mind wander off in so many directions,
and why does my heart desire
the things that lead me astray?
Let me sense your presence in the midst of my turmoil.
Take my tired body,
my confused mind,
and my restless soul into your arms
and give me rest, simple quiet rest.

Henry J.M. Nouwen
Show Me the Way: Readings for Each Day of Lent

***
P.S.
Today is a special day for someone!
Happy birthday, Cousin dear! :)

hospitality

2007-02-26T23:15:00.001+07:00

Then the king will say to those on his right,
‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father.
Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.
For I was hungry and you gave me food,
I was thirsty and you gave me drink,
a stranger and you welcomed me,
naked and you clothed me,
ill and you cared for me,
in prison and you visited me.’ ...
‘Amen, I say to you, whatever you did
for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.’
Matt. 25: 34-5, 40

I am living in Jakarta, Indonesia. Whenever I am in the car driving somewhere in the city, I see hungry and thirsty people begging for money near the traffic light; some of them are ill. Naked guys with mental illness walk pass my house. I watch and read criminal being sentenced to prison almost daily. Yet I have to admit, sadly, I have never done anything.

The most I have done is giving little fraction of my money to the beggars. That is closer to nothing than something.

Mother Teresa lived this gospel reading to the letters. She fed the hungry, gave drink to the thirsty, clothed the naked, nursed the sick, welcomed the dying to die on her lap.

Should I do the same? Could I? Or would I?

I have heard and read this gospel reading a lot of times, but I have never give it enough importance to be done in my life. I find it difficult, mostly because I have a lot of fears.

Welcoming a stranger to the house is close to impossible to be done. I have watched enough real-life crime to be able to do that. Or maybe I am not poor enough to do that (blessed are the poor in spirit; for theirs is the kingdom of heaven).

But I should be able to do the rest. Yeah, I could do them.

And of course, I would.

away from home

2007-02-23T23:46:00.001+07:00

Today is my husband's birthday. We woke up slightly before 4 a.m., ate our breakfast cum birthday noodle at 4:30 a.m., then hubby left to the airport at 5. He had a morning flight to Singapore, two days one night business trip.

Happy birthday, Daddy!

what to give up

2007-02-22T20:08:00.001+07:00

Give up complaining
focus on gratitude.
Give up pessimism
become an optimist.
Give up harsh judgments
think kindly thoughts.
Give up worry
trust Divine Providence.
Give up discouragement
be full of hope.
Give up bitterness
turn to forgiveness.
Give up hatred
return good for evil.
Give up negativism
be positive.
Give up anger
be more patient.
Give up pettiness
become mature.
Give up gloom
enjoy the beauty that is all around you.
Give up jealousy
pray for trust.
Give up gossiping
control your tongue.
Give up sin
turn to virtue.
Give up giving up
hang in there!

ash wednesday

2007-02-21T17:49:00.001+07:00

Meménto, homo, quia pulvis es, et in púlverem revertéris

Remember, man, that thou art dust, and unto dust thou shalt return

cute cute goddaughter

2007-02-21T14:16:00.001+07:00

My goddaughter and her mom just visited me! Oooh, the most awaited event of the month! :)

Rielle is a super cute-cute-smart-smart little girl. I didn't get to see her often, so I was always amazed with her growth every time I saw her. The smartest kid for her age I've met so far! So proud of her. He he he. So proud of her mommy too. :)

And silly me, I forgot to take picture!!!!! I've recharged the camera, prepared it on the table, and forgot to use it altogether in the excitement of meeting them.

If you read this, Rielle's mommy, please remind me to take picture the next time we meet. :)